i hope hearing goes well for you. this issue of arranging activities in your time, put that at forefront of your hearing. don'tlet it get brushed under the carpet. if her solicitor is messing you around, talking crap about UN human rights laws, then don't hesitate to just stick your hand up and speak to the judge. i am sure this is not the first time courts have encountered this silly behaviour from the ex. what if you book a holiday abroad to take your kids. will your wife say you can't go because she has arranged some activities during your time?
Thanks Bill and Dan. You start to question your doing the right thing. I just need to distance myself as much as possible from ex. I have a great family and wonderful wife and this has put us under such stress. I spoke with my daughter about the cheerleading and she just said " if I can't go it doesn't matter."
It just shows it's a crusade for the ex wife. If all they can do is twist the UN Children's rights act to suit them then it's just another solicitor taking some money. I hop the court sees it for what it is. We have had such a wonderful few weeks without it all. It's nice to see the kids all enjoy themselves and be happy without the stress of rushing around. Long may that last. It's caused me so much stress that I've had to go to GP for medication.
You do need to take back control of your own life as a matter of priority - don't take calls or messages when they come in, only at a set time each day or week, so you know the rest of the time is yours and so stress free.
Is she calling/messaging you on your phone at her convenience? If so, get a new and cheap phone just for this purpose and give her the new number - you can then switch it on only when it's convenient for you.
Yes she does. It's always been the case to try and ease the information flow which recently had got better but it became a way of her harassing me about the classes. It's going to have to change with the court case pending as I don't want to have to communicate with someone who pretends to be amicable but is willing to take me to court over such petty issues with the intention of limiting my time again. It will be something I bring up in court as it isn't enjoyable dropping off the children when I have my stepchildren and wife in the car and she is just openly hostile.
I would still suggest getting a separate phone and doing as I suggest and then explaining to the court why you've done that if your ex complains. If you ask the court to resolve this, if you get a judge on a bad day, he may regard this as a petty manner which you can sort out yourselves, that hands your ex a victory and puts you on the back foot for the rest of the matters.
actd wrote: You do need to take back control of your own life as a matter of priority - don't take calls or messages when they come in, only at a set time each day or week, so you know the rest of the time is yours and so stress free.
i think we need to learn to filter messages. ignore petty crap and only communicate for urgent reasons. if its whatapp stuff, i delete the chat after receiving a message. just annoys me to see that chat at top of list.
In regards to the activities she has booked - are there any swimming classes at that time? The thing is swimming is a life saving skill and it is very hard to argue a child can't do swimming but things like Cheerleading are just exervise. There is nothing stopping you booking your children into swimming in your time and not taking them cheerleading.
Unfortunately with a stupid ex like that you have to think what activities are life saving or simply life skills, and whether they are of more value than the activities they have booked them into. If they are you take them to the life saving or life skills activities in your time.
My ex did similar however my partner found activities that were better for my son's disability that we took him and his brother to. His physio said these activities were great and my ex, who is lazy, once she realised I was not going to take the things she booked him quietly backed down. She then stopped taking him to the activities all together. Our disagreement is now over other things.