Thanks All this is good advice especially . It seems so twisted thinking but I guess that is the way she is .
She has ramped it up now accusing me of DV I thought would happen .Just like you guys have all had too . She really has no boundaries. What next ?
It seems it will never end and will control over the children . Think I will need to go to family court to sort out the arrangements .
She will go to the police and/or courts saying any actual interaction you had with her in the last 5 years was abusive and controlling.
The police will interview you and if you had no recent contact with her will do nothing. If you have they will check it out. This is why you have been given advice on contact and communication. No contact and limited communication means there is no evidence.
The courts will slap an emergency non-molestation order on you if you have had any contact with her, she is a convincing actor and/or she gets one of the shit mainly male old-school judges who think all women need protecting.
Depending on whether she uses you as a babysitter or not you will need to decide whether to accept an undertaking or go for a full fact finding hearing.
If she uses you as a babysitter and you have other people to help do handovers of the kids who can keep a straight face, then accepting an Undertaking is the least stressful way to go.
However she will then try and say the Undertaking is evidence of you doing something wrong. It isn't and if you ever go to Child Arrangements having one as long as you were not ever physically violent, sexually violent and/or have drug/alcohol allegations they aren't interested.
(I should add this hasn't all happened to me but when the crap starts other men you know, and you don't need to know then well, will tell you their experiences.)