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TOPIC: Loosing hope cant cope

Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102157

Im new here and really badly need help/advise from people who have been through this circus called family court,
I’m going to do a short run through to better grasp my situation in due time, however at this point in time my question is simple,

What do I do if the directions from the previous hearing and recitals/orders are incorrect in the draft order I have just received through the post notifying me to the next hearing?
The court in question do not answer my calls at all (they never answer the phone) and have not once answered any of my emails (going on nearly a year)

I am worried that these false recitals will be used to further shroud me in false testimony at the next hearing,
I am currently trying to gain access to my kids,
C100 in place ongoing, like I said I will do a run through I just need to word it properly as my ex may see this and it may hinder my case, so bare with me, but in the mean time what do I do regarding the recitals being incorrect?

I feel I need to better explain this because I know no one can help without a brief idea of the whole situation however any advise on how to explain it properly without her making out it’s me and her being explained would be great.

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Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102161

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Is this a stamped order? Who has sent it? The Court or a solicitor?

Either way, you can write to the sender pointing out the errors so that they can be given a chance to correct it if they are significant. Otherwise raise at the next hearing.

All hearings are recorded so if the worst ever came to the worst and significant mistakes are made, transcripts can be obtained.

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.
Last Edit: by Yoda.

Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102162

hi,

i would not make a huge deal about recitals. in mine the ex put all kinds of crap, everything from father must wear pyjamas, to father not allowed to leave kids with his mum.

when is your next hearing? thats when you will clarify everything and get all your points across, so that you will get a decent order, with recitals. are you being represented by a barrister?

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Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102166

If the order is incorrect it may be able to be amended under the “slip” rule that allows clerical errors etc and wording to be changed if incorrect without the need for another hearing to authorise what is in effect a different order . That is of course different to the order being correct and perhaps ones understanding of what the order was going to be saying being different

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Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102168

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As has been said above by Bill and myself - recitals aren't worth kicking up a fuss about unless they are going to impact significantly on matters between hearings.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102174

If the order is incorrect it may be able to be amended under the “slip” rule that allows clerical errors etc and wording to be changed if incorrect without the need for another hearing to authorise what is in effect a different order . That is of course different to the order being correct and perhaps ones understanding of what the order was going to be saying being different

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Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102175

I’ve been draft a quick run through of what I’ve been dealing with but it was apparently spam when I tried to post it
Anyway it was a fact finding hearing that didn’t happen, and has got pushed back to another DRA and the recitals are saying I have admitted to things that I haven’t, which lies my concern as they may try at the next DRA say the fact finding had concluded certain aspects which never happened, I was pulled into a room with the ex’s solicitors who tried to get me to admit to stuff I hadn’t done which is why I asked for the fact finding initially,
I’ll try again to post the draft hopefully it won’t be called spam again.

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Last Edit: by TrappedInPaperwork. Reason: Mistyped

Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 5 days ago #102177

Basically short version
Been fighting for access with ex
Wasn’t aware about court process tried do it the simple way, go through her, she would say I could have contact then deny me, I’d phone I’d be ignored, i would try make amicable arrangements with her family to act as a go between and be abused,
Constantly badgered by police call outs for obtaining access via these methods,
She then cut all communication throughout these periods turns out she had got her own place and told me a a few months later, started to make a go of it again and then she started her usual ****, ,
No domestics or abuse etc police verify via reports, police offered to refer me to social services because they got tired of this loop I was in and could see it was solely about access and nothing abusive,
Started to engage with social they said contact was between parents and their only concern was drug use, I jumped on a course got myself clean, (weed and coke use)
She would ignore my access attempts telling me go through social and social would refer me back to her over and over,
She then moved again and has refused to engage or notify any services about me as I and I quote “have been trying to obtain access” as written in one of her police statements over access,
The Scott schedule has mentioned my attempts at access however the way it’s been claimed if I accept that the way it’s written is true I’m playing into her hands therefore I asked for fact finding so they can see both sides clearly which seems to be getting ignored over and over, and can show her other claims are false etc won’t go into those as they speak for themselves and will be clearly thrown out,

False harassment and non molo followed without notice now expired kept out of birth of second child

Was then informed how to go about court process,
Told mediation was a no go, (non molo)
Started court process and was sabotaged via false claims which then pushed it to various other hearings, short run through follows,

Self representation,

First hearing,
applied for C100,
She put in prohibited steps,
Fact finding may be needed
Scott schedule requested
drug test reports requested and mental health apparent schizophrenia
I was on drug course prior to court becuase i saw her trying to use this as ammo way before all this
Mother told send photos of kids and basic details of second child kept completely out of the pregnancy and birth of second haven’t seen at all not listed on birth certificate etc, and not seen kids for near a year plus,
Mother to send written statement by x date
I to respond by x date
Disclosure reports police etc
Sent to DRA hearing,
Bundle not received untill day before hearing.

Second hearing,
statements read
Bundle not accessed till late court informed,
Practice direction 12j in place.
Mother told to send photos through solicitors interim contact at solicitors office and I can take gifts and due mutual exchange at their offices, as she wasn’t sending them
medical, drug reports given proof I’m clean and no mental health diagnosis.
ex to obtain witness statments for her false claims, Christmas I tried to sort amicable contact with her family which has now been said I was threatening and abusing (recorded whole event again ignored)
Also got her on the recording promising to contact the social to arrange contact and my child could hear everything as phone on speaker,
I have told courts this requested videos be placed for evidence emails again ignored,
Further DRA in place
Ex solicitor told to conform with direction 27A to ensure bundle on time as again not given on time,

Third hearing,
statements read
court considering practice 12j
ex solictors tell court they can no longer do intriem contact,
when i went to the office to pick up photos and hand over gifts i was told to leave and no order exsits, solicitors then lied in court saying i was aggressive at the offices, took gifts no photos, of course i recorded, i got video of whole event and ex told to send photos via post now. court ignoring my mention of video and took solicitors word
fact finding hearing to follow
ex solictors warned about bundle again practice 27a
two day fact finding for scott schedule.
ex told send photos direct to my address,
i to make draft of questions etc

fact finding, latest one
told courts not receiving photos still
ex told now to email them now
bundle still not correct and on time
asked to speak to ex solictor outside to go over what i accept etc on scott schedule, I accept nothing that is claimed which is why it’s going to fact finding
i ask for contact she says she will arrange it, she doesnt i ask again over and over that is apparantly harrasment,
however court recitals say i accept what was claimed but do not amount to harrasment, and do not accept wrongdoing,
Childhood diagnosis of adhd from medical reports although haven’t been an issue for over 20 years no medicine etc brought into question and now being told I need intermediary as I did not understand why I’m being told I have to admit to stuff I haven’t done to move the case forward.
solcitors convinced court bundle still not correct more evidence still needs to be got, local authority and police, even though being told at two previous hearings to sort it
told court fact finding not ready,
sent back for another DRA
with prospect of going back again to fact finding later on
court told ex solicitor to make me a referral to intermidiate
court recital and order states the court will do it although it does say solicitors will "do their best to help assist in this"
mother to get more evidence of false claims
listed for DRA again

Now my issue is I’m going back to the DRA from a fact finding that never happened, but with a recital that claims I have addmitted stuff I hadn’t,
The courts do not answer their phones and do not reply to my emails this case has gone on since Start of this year, no response from court whatsoever, I have requested via email for them to accept my videos they won’t acknowledge, they however take ex’s word for gold as she is represented,
They won’t acknowledge the constant refusal to send me photos of my kids, via my emails to the court,
I managed to get the court to declare me as the father of my second child and for the birth certificate to be amended however still not received the doc to state this, so I can go to the registry and finalise it.
I’m fuming
I have literally been trying to see my first child for near two years, haven’t even seen the new child who is nearly one,
I have done everything asked I have badgered every Tom dick and Harry trying to get access, had my name dragged through dirt and more,
She is relying on her non molo which clearly is false but is being ignored,
I have a drug report showing I am clean and have been engaging proficiently which is apparently according to her solicitor not applicable and is demanding hair strand testing now, which is driving me up the wall, as I can clearly prove I am drug free, it’s like they don’t want to the courts to delve into her evidence and keep pushing it onto me,
It’s my application which some how has been taken over by her it seems,
I’m beyond done I can’t deal with this and do not have the funds to get legal help who we all know don’t help, what do I need to do to show this and how can I get the court to acknowledge that all of our time is being wasted and on top of that the recital is wrong and the orders are incorrect.
I understand the system takes time and she will unravel however she keeps trying to add further claims and stall this for longer than it should be,
I miss my kids I have gone from living with one to having said child taken away with no contact over a year plus, having a second born without my involvement, having to beg the courts for the simplest of info and photos which are barely abided by, and time goes on,
I’ve found myself withdrawn and highly emotional over this and can’t seem to understand why I can’t see my children and being sent through this f***show, shouldn’t be be easier than this?
I’ve missed key moments with my first and have had the opportunity of key moments taken from the second with no thought about how it affects me or my kids,
I’m trying not to ramble but what am I expected to do and how can I move forward?
The fact finding is supposed to show there is no substance to her Scott schedule yet they seem to be able to keep adding in or claiming missing evidence which don’t exist, in now waiting to go back for the fifth time to see body camera footage of me arguing with police over access and her refusal, and social services statement claiming I’ve said stuff I hadn’t how is this a due and fair process?
I just do not understand any of it, I am not contacting her,
I have not abused her,
Im drug free
Mental health clearly clean although childhood hyperactivity being brought into question “roll eyes”
Sorry was ALOT to read there but now u got a slight grasp

I’m just stuck is this normal? How long and what am I expected to do?
Al I want is to have a plan in place set by the court she can’t deny to allow me to go back to seeing my first child who was in my eyes taken away from me, and be able to see and hold my second who has been kept away from me, I literally have one photo on the second child and it pains me,
Oh yeh but it’s ok to go to csa and demand money (I was clearly offering prior to court) yet keep me away from the kids? I could go on but I imagine you get the jist of it, this is the first time I’ve spoke about it as I have no support network so it may be a tad all over the place but I am really not coping.

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Last Edit: by TrappedInPaperwork. Reason: Clarify

Loosing hope cant cope 1 week 4 days ago #102196

hi,

wow that is madness. i am very surprised that there is no mention at all about a Section 7 report by cafcass? seems to be a case where someone is self-representing and other sides solictors just playing games. at my first hearing, cafcass woman randomly asking for fact finding. my barrister advised theres no need for that. instead they did a section 7 report and found there to be no safeguarding issues. admitted to having temper issues in past and breaking furniture a few years back. still the woman said this kind of stuff happens during heated arguments. she doesnt see reason why i can not see my kids more. i pretty much got everything i asked for, except mid-week overnights. this is why i wrote up there that fact finding is trouble, and asking for it only prolongs the court process. cafcass woman asked me if mother has mentl health issues. i know something is not quite right with her. but i said No as i didnt want this nonsense to drag on and this is not about her, but the kids.

well on the positive side you have been self-representing. otherwise your legal fees will prob stand at £10k by now. is it possible for you to ask for a FINAL hearing? and if possible, ask cafcass to do section 7 report on you and make recommendations about child contact?
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Last Edit: by Bill337.
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