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TOPIC: Domestic abuse

Domestic abuse 1 week 1 day ago #102257

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Hi guys I have problem . Had bad times with wife was accused for domestic abuse and sentenced a couple.months ago for that I've punched the door . Was asking her for 5 hours to get back my wallet and mobile phone but question is about what happened 3 days ago. My wife was attacked by someone at night and was in come. We are living in two diffrent flats. Police.thought it was me but they clearef me after 8 hours of questioning but they checked my phone and her phone. She woked up and I was able to speak with her . Now she told that police officer said that someone from domestic abuse will contact her because of our messages. They weren't bad nothing like that" i will do something to you or something worse" normal argue about her cheating and other normal stuff. She said that she doesn't want to speak with them. She didn't complain because for her this is stupid what they are doing. My question is can the charged me without her complain????Or she has to complain and after that they can charge me for what they want but this is stupid I didn't do anything wrong

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Domestic abuse 1 week 16 hours ago #102262

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Forgot mention that social service.said that she can't stay alon efor ovetnight with kids and I have to be with them Decission was made for kids that I will.move tonger house.for some.time and I did it. Everything seems be ok we still.want.to.divorce but is very good comunication between us. Social.service said that sitiation when kids can't stay alone with mum.at night is temporary not for.long time. And after that I will back.to my flat. But I still think about that police and messenger. I'm reading.this messages all the time and don't see anything bad.

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Domestic abuse 1 week 14 hours ago #102263

Hi Magic

Sounds like you are having a tough time. I'm no legal expert just someone who has done some domestic violence courses and I had friends in similar situations

My friend told her women's aid worker that her ex partner was abusing her they told the police behind her back the police rang her up and ask her if she wanted to have her ex partner charged she refused the police decided not to pursue it because it was against her wishes so I think in depends on the situation and whether they think it will stand in court, if it's just a few bad text messages maybe not but I think it depends if they are going for any of other things too but I think it helps you that you ex wife isnt supporting them.

Sorry I'm a little confused are you saying that the children are in foster care and they are looking at who it would be best for the children to live with?

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Domestic abuse 1 week 14 hours ago #102264

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Kids are with me now

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Domestic abuse 1 week 13 hours ago #102265

Sorry I miss read your message, I can see why you are worried about the police, I think the best thing you could do is go and see a solicitor, (some solicitors offer free legal advice only for half a hour)

I would also look into getting a child arrangements order so it would be made official that the children stay living with you.

All the best to you
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Domestic abuse 1 week 11 hours ago #102272

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I would think that without your ex's backing, then CPS would have a very weak case against you. The may decide to caution you, but you can refuse to accept that, I believe, which forces their hand. I would get some professional legal advice on this though.

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Domestic abuse 1 week 10 hours ago #102278

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Thank you very much for your help . I'm really glad that I've found this forum. My wife said that she doesn't want to speak with them because she thinks that they are saying bullshit. They have only our messenger conversation in which is nothing in my opinion bad but maybe they see something . My wife was and is still in contact with Shakti and womans aid and I know one thing she wasn't scare at any time to report me . she had support and have that support still from these organisations.On the police station after accident police officer forced me to give my phone for checks and I didn't affraid about that because I knew that I didn't write anything else. Now I'm reading about domestic abuse and everything can be domestic abuse.Sometimes messages was bad and good but only we can judge when we feel abused . I have perfet opnion at work and kids nursery. Social service told me that kids has to be with me during the night time . They can't be alone with mum it will be for short period of time she said.
We are now in her flat because it's closer to the nursery and everything is fine . Have to look after her because she was in come and I'm worry about her health. We are not talking about police and stuff like that . Now have to focus on wife ,kids and work because without money will be difficult to pay rent and other bills but still worrying about that police not that because I did domething bad but because there is thousands of story when system is fuc..... as in the ass. Sorryy but feel upset and little angry now
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Domestic abuse 1 week 9 hours ago #102281

I know is hard but I think you should avoid reading the negative stuff online, I don't think that's going to help you, I think you need to stay focused on your children you sound like a nice caring person who cares for his wife and children, it can be very frustrating when professional such as police and social services are involved and they sticking their noses into your business but you do need to try and keep cakm about it and stay focused.

My opinion is that social services are more about trying to split couples up then giving them the help and support they need, like the first sight of trouble there solution is break the couple up obviously there are cases such has child abuse that it's nesscary but not it all cases.

I do think you should take my earlier advice and go and see a solicitor to talk through your options they might be able to put your mind at rest.

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Domestic abuse 1 week 6 hours ago #102289

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Try to seek legal advice if you can.

Many solicitors offer free 30 minute consultations.

Best of luck

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Domestic abuse 6 days 14 hours ago #102311

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I have to find one because can't sleep and eat

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Domestic abuse 6 days 10 hours ago #102318

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You need to look after your own health as a priority - go to see your GP if necessary.
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