Hi Guys. I've posted on here a few times. I'm in Court on 21st November for a pre trial hearing, then a 3 day fact finding hearing end of January. All the statements, Scott schedule, GP medical records etc, I just feel really overwhelmed with it all. Having to see my wife in court and all the allegations she put against me, not seeing my children in 5 months is really getting to me. All the hoops and hurdles I have to overcome, when in the end a judge could rule, I'm never to see my children again is really worrying me. Anyone else ever get overwhelmed at times with it all? I will continue to fight on, to see my children again, but I just feel so alone in it all... Thanks guys..
Yes, most of us feel overwhelmed at times with all the effort made to achieve contact with our children. It is a child and fathers' right to have contact with one another. You must feel totally drained both mentally and physically with all you have been required to do. Please make sure you eat, sleep and look after yourself. If all the paperwork is now done have a rest.
Try and mix with people to lessen the loneliness if you can. I'm a grandmother and I support my Son whom I see going through the stages of bereavement (that is, what it is) because he cannot be the full-time father he always wanted to be and he misses his children so much. At times he is dreadfully lonely at other times he is a little better through having spoken confidentially to a family member or friend and also by going out and joining groups.
Your feeling of being overwhelmed will pass.
Do as you say you will, quote, "continue to fight on ....."
Regain your energy and be kind to yourself.
You are not alone albeit you may feel you are, we are all here to help!
Just keep fighting on Devo. That is all you can do. Trust me, i have been in a state before where I was just going to give up, move to another country and just let my ex have the kids. It is hard and it is unfair that you are going through this and how women get such power over the children. Have you asked if you can have supervised contact in the interim, maybe push for this now until its all over?
It has hit me hard and my friends and family, they hate seeing me like this. My dad has always said to me "Short term pain for long term gain" and that is all i tell myself. Just keep fighting, keep yourself busy. I know its not nice, but you will have lots of spare time for the time being, so enjoy it, go places, see people, just do something to pass the time.
I have read your posts before, and if your ex is making things up, then just prove her wrong. Fight all of the allegations she is claiming, and once this has been done, it will be you who looks the better person.
It really is not fair that you cannot see your kids. I am only just seeing mine now, it is supervised so better than nothing, but it is not what my kids want, they want me to take them to the park again, they want me to pick them up form school again....and I will, i know I will. Each time my ex brings something up, i knock it back, at the last hearing, she was adamant i wouldn't see them ever again, I left being able to see them twice a month until the final hearing.
as others mentioned, you need to stay strong and fight this. best thing to do is socialise. hang out more with friends, family. in one of my weekends where i didn't have kids, i booked a trip to scotland with a nephew. did just under a thousand miles by the time we got back anything is better than sitting alone and missing your kids. you have come this far now so don't give up!
Hi there . The courts will be used to allegations flying around hence the Scots schedules and so on . If you don’t know how to write anything up there are templates on line for witness statments Scot schedules etc . Call the court if you can’t find them and they’ll tell you where you can download . It does seem a lot of work but none of the documents are overly complicated . Again if I’m doubt there’s plenty online .
Oddly we were due to do a fact finding and when I submitted my schedule of allegations and eviddnce to my ex , she did a u turn and said she wouldn’t submit anything against me .
Don’t think her reasons were as she told the court . All you can do is be prepared , use anything you have of relevance to support you case and show you want what is best for the kids . Make a diary of when docs need to be submitted etc . The deadlines soon creep up . You haha to be Almost business like in all this . The ex isn’t the judge and jury now , the magistrates / real judges are . Be prepared , do all the orders ask that’s all you can do . Let the ex say whatever . She has to prove the allegations
Hi Ferfer. I was being recommended by cafcass at the last hearing 4weeks ago to be given interim contact with my 4 children. The cafcass lady went off to tell my wife of this, my wife then decided to make 2 more horrible allegations against me. Then cafcass said no contact in any form. I was in bits at this to say the least. I know my children need to see me as it's now 5 long months without any contact. I've spoken to their schools and they tell me they have had to have early years help intervention, to cope emotionally. Why can't my wife just have a heart, and let me see them. 14 years of being married to her, just seems like it's been one big lie.