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TOPIC: break down of commuincation with ex

break down of commuincation with ex 2 weeks 5 days ago #102586

Long story, but I left my ex two years ago, she was extremely emotionally abusive towards me and i decided it was best to leave and save the kids the pain of seeing their parents not get on. I have two children with her ages 6 and 8 they live my ex and her partner. Up until recently I have had access to my children for weekends (one weekend is a short weekend with the weekend in between being a long one). The kids were always taken out on day trips and we always made sure we had as much fun as possible in the time we spent together. My kids are my world and i looked forward to times spent with them. This arrangement seemed to hold for a while.

However my ex now has a baby with her partner and things have changed. My ex is relentless in her criticism of my parenting and her new partner has joined her in throwing abuse and threats at me whenever they feel i have not done what they want, how they want it, when they want it. I have been physically threatened during picks ups, sent over 190 emails and texts since July this year which criticise my parenting and allude to me not loving my children. I had phone calls from her partner calling me a piece of shit, or pathetic and sad. The abuse moved onto a public forum with my ex's partner posting things about me on Facebook. My ex's partner even targeted a previous ex girlfriend of mine whom i hadn't heard from in years, she phoned me at work hysterical and asking me what it was all about. I went to the police but they took no interest and said that no crime had been committed therefore no action would be taken. Every pick up with the children is awful, my exs partner often records me on his phone. I am not a violent man but i feel like he is trying to provoke me into fighting or doing something foolish. Its taken all my strength not to react and try to stay calm.

This week my ex sent me an email stating she is denying me access to my children unless through a contact centre under supervision. I should make it clear their are no court orders or any concerns over children's welfare and up until now the kids have always been happy. The last words my daughter said to me on the weekend just gone was "i love you daddy see you soon". So i had no inclination of this been my last access visit with my children. My ex now wants to go through mediation as she reports she has "concerns" but won't say what the "concerns" are. I should explain all my money went into the house we jointly own and i pay CSA each month. I am over threshold for legal aid just about and therefore not eligible. I cannot afford the legal route. I just don't know what to do, i can't see a future anymore. I think am better off checking out. I am just stunned into paralysis at the moment. I don't really know why i am writing this, theirs so much i could say that's happened and i am only really saying a small piece of what happened recently. I don't have it in me to fight long term i am exhausted by it all and my health is beginning to fail me. I am wracked with anxiety. I love my kids all i want is for them to be happy.

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break down of commuincation with ex 2 weeks 5 days ago #102592

hi Bericillo01

i am sorry to hear your having such a hard time. plenty of dads have gone through this. if you take legal route, you can represent yourself and save a lot on costs. please do not cut your children out of your life due to their mother.

speak to these people www.supportthroughcourt.org they offer so much support and for free

to jump into the legal route, mediation will cost around the £100 mark.then there is a £215 fee for court application. for the rest you can represent yourself in the hearings. you will get plenty of support and advice from dads here.

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break down of commuincation with ex 2 weeks 4 days ago #102604

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As a separate issue, I would recommend getting a separate phone for your contact with your ex, and keep it switched off for a lot of the time, and only switch it on when you either need to contact your ex, or when you are mentally prepared for the backlog of messages. Also may be worth getting some sort of recording facility on the phone, and tell your ex/her partner you are recording the conversation - hopefully, if they think it could be used in court, that will tone it down a bit. Using a separate phone will give you control back of your life.

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