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TOPIC: Despair And Powerless

Despair And Powerless 2 weeks 4 hours ago #102669

My case is long over - With me being left with no contact - My lad as recently turned sixteen and I've not seen him since 2007. I just cant stop thinking about him and i'm very concerned about his welfare because of PA by his so called mother and grandfather - He is being abused and I've been left powerless to do anything about it. The family courts have been absolutely useless along with Cafcass - I first took my ex to court in 2006 and my ex's solicitor deliberately requested a cafcass report and got my son to make false allegations about me. After lots of scrutiny and investigations it proved that my son is being negatively influenced by is mother and grandparents - The courts then ordered that I see my lad at a supervised contact centre but my ex did not comply breaking orders - My case came to an end in 2011 on the grounds that it will have a detrimental affect on the child if the proceedings continued - I feel i never got treated fairly. My prime concern now is that my sons grandfather is a control freak and i feel he is the main instigator and i feel he as control over my ex and my son - I remember when i was with my ex she told me that her Dad physically and verbal abused her when she was a child also he was a wife beater - My ex also told me that she wanted to move away from her father but it would mean her leaving her mum behind - I am very worried that my son is in that environment surely there is something i can do about this ?? The stress and worry is immense . I do have PR and I've found out that my son has got ADHD I'm no expert but i'm blaming that diagnoses on him being in the environment he is in.

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Last Edit: by SadDad2019.

Despair And Powerless 2 weeks 3 hours ago #102672

hi there,

I am sorry to hear that. must have been so emotionally exhausting to drag on all those years. are you forbidden from even going near your son? what would happen if you just passed by your son after he left school/college to say hello?

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Despair And Powerless 2 weeks 2 hours ago #102679

Hi,

I have an order in place for no contact so ridiculously maybe police involvement if I went near him - Also I think its best i don't go near him because he could get further abused if his grandfather found out.

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Despair And Powerless 1 week 6 days ago #102688

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Are you able to contact your son in any way? With him turning 16, the courts basically won't make orders for him now, so if he decided he wanted to come and live with you, there isn't a great deal that your ex's family could do about it - chances are they'd call the police, who would interview your son, and as long as they were satisfied he was safe and happy, they'd take no further action.

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Despair And Powerless 1 week 6 days ago #102694

What type of Order is it?

If it can get you arrested you may be better waiting until he's 18 and legally an adult. Then it will be up to him whether or not to involve the police not his mother, grandparents or any other adult.

I hope you kept the Court paperwork so you can show him when he challenges you, why you couldn't get in touch with him before then.

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Despair And Powerless 1 week 5 days ago #102708

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Sorry, I'll amend my comment as greengage is correct - I meant is there any way you can contact him that doesn't break an order, or get a message to him indirectly?

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Despair And Powerless 1 week 5 days ago #102721

its tough. even if you email him or something, sooner or later the ex will find out and start WW3

A child arrangements order which only says where a child should live and when will continue until a child is 18 unless the order says something different or the court decides to end it.

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Despair And Powerless 1 week 4 days ago #102730

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Strictly speaking yes, but over age 16, the courts are unlikely to intervene, so if your son decided to come and live with you of his own choosing, as long as the police and courts are happy he's safe, it would be unlikely to enforce an order that says he lives with his mother, and I would hazard a guess they would either amend or cancel the existing order.

This might help childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/residence

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