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TOPIC: Parental responsibility orders?

Parental responsibility orders? 1 week 4 days ago #102724

Hi , I am new on here and just wanted to see what anyone’s thoughts are on my situation.

I have been separated from
My wife now for 16 months -her choice. We have a 9 years old son together and I am named on the birth certificate.

We now live separately having sold the family home and have no chance of reconciliation.

I have regular contact with my son and live within a mile of where he lives , goes to school and where his doctors surgery is.

My ex is keeping my contact a fraction below 50/50 in order to secure maintenance.

I have initiated the court process to obtain a parental responsibility order asking for 50/50 contact - that is I will also do half of the pastoral care and actually spend the money I would pay her directly on him buying all his uniform and clothing etc

She is apposed to this strongly quoting all sorts of rubbish that led to our marriage failing -nothing to do with my parenting skills.

What are anyone’s views on my action and possible outcomes or success?

I will be representing myself in court.

Has anyone been through this themselves ?

Any advice (please say it how it is) would be much appreciated.

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Parental responsibility orders? 1 week 4 days ago #102726

Does your child have over night stays at the moment? I am hoping to get 50/50 care but I am not going to hold my breath.

Have you attempted mediation? This would be the best option first, and less expensive and time consuming. If you can, I would recommend a solicitor, I went twice without one and felt bullied, so i have one now.

The issue is, what ever she is using as the reason to not allow you to see you child more, she will say all of this to cafcass and the courts and it will most likely be investigated. Depending on her allegations, they could possibly stop all contact all together. Maybe continue with your current arrangement, wait for her to calm down and approach it again in the new year maybe?
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Parental responsibility orders? 1 week 4 days ago #102728

Thankyou for your reply

Yes -he stays over 3 nights a week on average -like i say across the month she is keeping it just below 50/50 in order to get maintenance

Obviously this is making things difficult financially for me

I am attending my first MIAM meeting next week -I don’t think she will
Engage with them ?

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Parental responsibility orders? 1 week 4 days ago #102729

My ex did the same. She would no agree to joint mediation, so i had no choice to go to court. At the moment, all I am getting is 2 hours every two weeks at a contact centre. I have not been alone with my children for over 9 months. I am hoping this will change soon.

I hope mediation works for you. Good luck!!
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Parental responsibility orders? 1 week 4 days ago #102732

  • actd
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Yes, you have to attempt mediation, but it can be signed off at the first session if she won't attend, or there is obviously no agreement, and then you can proceed on to court. Of course, there is always the hope that it might actually achieve an acceptable compromise.
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Parental responsibility orders? 3 days 13 hours ago #102843

  • J87
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I have recently been to court for 50/50 custody of my two children. From the beginning my ex had been hard to deal with. I originally moved out of my house we shared. This house was in my name but I moved out as she was having the kids the majority. After a couple of months I found my ex was not paying the mortgage or any bills. I leggaly had to pay the mortgage as it was in my name so I payed the arrears. I think to this day she still in debt for the utility bills.
Anyway in the meantime said ex wnet to the csa and tried to claim on the basis I had them once a week. Which was a lie. It was twice overnight and twice for tea. As I worked night-shift at the time. I was then ordered to pay 550 a month plus 610 mortgage I was paying to keep a roof over there head. My take home pay was about 1800.
As the CMS couldn't do anything about my situation I took matters in my own hands. Her and her new boyfriend(who was also staying over at my house, how lovely) went away for the night. I gained entry to my house and changed all the locks. She was mortified, I was elated. I was perfectly in my right and told her the kids were welcome to come home.

Since then I have been to court and considering all circumstances, her refusing mediation, ignoring letters, not attending courses the court had asked us to do, not turning up for the 2nd hearing out of 3.the court granted me 50/50. I was very confident in getting more than this but I thought the kids needed to be with her as there school is closer to her than me and also I work full time she doesn't. Dad's do have power and it's all changing now, it's what's best for the children. Never give up
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Parental responsibility orders? 3 days 13 hours ago #102844

I attended the required mediation last week so will see how she responds.
How did you find the court appearance? - I am representing myself.
Was maintenance discussed as part of the order?

She is still being arrogant with her control at the moment and demanding money -which it is all about really to her !

Thankyou for your reply -been very useful and a boost

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Parental responsibility orders? 2 days 4 hours ago #102860

hi J87,

thanks for your update. very motivational. as part of your 50/50 arrangement, what is it like? do you have to do lot of school runs?

thanks.

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Parental responsibility orders? 2 days 1 hour ago #102869

Hi , she dictatetes around her shifts -mine flex around hers -significantly. -so yes I do a lot of school runs both ends of the days -with no child care support !
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