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TOPIC: Not replying to ex's changes

Not replying to ex's changes 4 weeks 2 days ago #104780

Evening all

My ex is notorious for last minute changes and changing pick up and collection time and venue, cancelling contact last minute. I have realised that trying to negotiate anything with her is completely pointless as it just results in contact collapsing. She proposes changes only to her benefit and when I try to meet her in the middle she declines and it just turns in to chaos with contact being cancelled as a result.

So I have started ignoring her digs at me in her emails and now ignoring her attempts to change contact too. Will this look bad on me? But I cannot deal with her at all. I cannot deal with her unreasonable demands. She expects me to drop everything for last minute stuff. It's chaotic. And it's completely stupid to be in so much communication when our relationship is over. I cannot stand it at all.

I receive up to 10 messages plus calls a week or so or more sometimes. I just wish to stick to court order and I have told her that already.

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Last Edit: by Justbeingdad.

Not replying to ex's changes 4 weeks 1 day ago #104781

hi,

yes that sounds very annoying. if you can't agree on additional arrangements, just fall back to the court order. if she is not sticking to that, then all you can really do is go back to court to enforce it.

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Not replying to ex's changes 4 weeks 1 day ago #104782

Will me ignoring her emails and emails chasing me to reply look bad. It's ridiculous I have to reply to something that I'm not in agreement in. She can't be civil with any communication or arrangement so I see no point in replying as it just something i don't want to engage it. Sometimes I'm at work and she expects me to drop everything and turn up.

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Not replying to ex's changes 4 weeks 1 day ago #104783

you should just reply once and tell her your not available. maybe report her to police for harrassment lol. probably not a good idea. have to set boundaries.

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Not replying to ex's changes 4 weeks 1 day ago #104785

You need to start following court order and don't do anything other than that unless you agree with what she is asking.
If you need to change court order you can go back and vary it.

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Not replying to ex's changes 2 weeks 4 days ago #104987

Due to my ex's behaviour I set up another email address and got another SIM with a new number.

I then transferred everyone over to this new email address and new number.

I put the old SIM in a different mobile handset and changed to PAYG.

I removed my old email from my phone.

I now check my voicemail a couple of times a week. I check my email before I have the kids and when they are with me. However I only log in or listen when they are asleep which is after 8pm.

I did this 6 months before I got my Child Arrangements Order. I hid my new details from her on the application as the old ones are still my contact ones except they are specificially for her.

This means my ex can phone - which she isn't allowed to do according to the Order except for emergencies - and email - which is only allowed minimally in the recitals - and I don't see it.

This has made me feel loads better. Particularly as I tend to read the emails or listen to the messages when I'm with friends who use to know her or my current partner, whose child the ex tried to harass. (It's our joint kid who is a baby and loved by the older ones. )

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Not replying to ex's changes 2 weeks 1 day ago #105003

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we've advised this a number of times in the past - it really does give you control back of your life, instead of being controlled by your ex. :)

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