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TOPIC: Struggling with Newborn

Struggling with Newborn 2 weeks 23 hours ago #105018

I'm gonna be honest, I don't think I've ever felt this low or hopeless before.

We have a 5 week old son and he just cries constantly.....he'll sleep for 20-30 mins then cry inconsolabley for hours. We've tried gripe water, infacol, gaviscon for infants.....They all work for like 2 to 3 days then straight back into the crying. I feel completely broken, I'm in tears every single day and it's making me wish we never had another baby, which makes me feel horrible because I love the bones off of him.

I just feel like this is never going to end and this will be every single day for the next few years.

I've struggled with mental health for decades and the way I used to cope was by self harming or suicide attempts at my worst times. I don't know what to do :( I can't cope, I feel so on edge and that I'm completely going to break down.
I feel so guilty for feeling like this and not being there 100% for my partner :( I feel useless.

Don't know why I'm even posting here, I'm just completely broken :(

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Struggling with Newborn 2 weeks 21 hours ago #105022

Thanks for coming on and commenting here. I will ask our parent support to come back to you, they are online again in the morning. Just to say I have kids, but am no expert, but just want you to know that just by asking the questions you are doing brilliantly and hope in the morning our actual experts can help support you properly. Hope you get a little sleep tonight... Nell (Dad.info)

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Struggling with Newborn 2 weeks 8 hours ago #105056

Good Morning

I am sorry to hear you are feeling low. Having a newborn can be very tough, I've been there and it will get better. Have you spoken with your GP or Health visitor about how you feeling? Talking is good .

Mind.org. uk have some useful information on perinatal mental health. If you need someone to talk to there is also giveusashout.org which is open 24/7 Text 85258.

A suggestion to try could be some online baby massage tuition for your little one? This might help with the crying and discomfort and be a nice activity for you both. There are videos on YouTube and it seems like companies are offering online classes due to the current situation in the UK.

Try not to pressure yourself during the day for any tasks, take that day as it comes and if that means you stay in your pj's all day, then so be it. These early days are important for you to recover and rest as much as you can too. Sometimes us parents feel like we need to be doing it all but in reality we don't have to at all! Taking time to adjust can take time.

Do you like to read? You could always cosy up with your little one and read your own book out loud. He or she will find your voice soothing and you get to catch up on your reading too. Or read aloud articles online? Fresh air is also good, A cup of tea in the sun and you could wrap little one next to you in the pram.

You are doing an amazing job . Keep talking and chatting on here.

Take care

Sunshine6
Representing Fegans Parent Support
The following user(s) said Thank You: fegans

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Fegans Parent Support Coordinator

Struggling with Newborn 2 weeks 7 hours ago #105060

hi,

is the baby comfortable in yours or mothers arms? its like a security blanket. i think leaving them in a cot or moses basket will make them feel scared or insecure. the next time a midwife/health visitor arrives (hope they will visit in these difficult times), you should mention your concerns to them.

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Struggling with Newborn 2 weeks 6 hours ago #105063

Hi.
I do feel for you with a crying baby. The response you have had from Fegans sunshine is spot on. I love the idea of sitting in the sun. Does jiggling the pram work? One thing I found helps is to hold the baby facing downwards on your arm. Feet towards your elbow so you fingers can massage it’s tummy while you rock. Maybe worth a try.
It will get easier but I know this feels like a really tough road. When the baby is asleep treat yourself to a peek at the perfect human you carried. Then run a bath or collapse on the sofa and breathe

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Fegans parent support worker

Struggling with Newborn 2 weeks 37 minutes ago #105093

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Definitely speak to the midwife as Bill has suggested, and between your partner and yourself, try to give the other some free time to get some rest so you can both start to feel less broken. You are all learning at the moment, so it will be very hard.

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