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TOPIC: Covid-19:Living with vulnerable person & co-parenting

Covid-19:Living with vulnerable person & co-parenting 2 months 1 week ago #105242

Hello,

I’ve asked about co-parenting during this epidemic before. However I need further advice.

My toddler son is currently part way through 14 days isolation as he had the virus symptoms. He’s with his mother at present. I’ve not seem him in person for over 2 weeks now, as he wasn’t well before this isolation. I asked her how he is and a couple of phone calls and a video chat. I don’t think he can be himself with her being there. It also very awkward having to contact him via her.

My worry is that I live with my mother who’s over 70 and as such is now in isolation for the 12 weeks recommended by the government. Would I be ok continuing with my co-parenting sessions once he is better or is that too risky especially since my son has had symptoms of the virus and could spread it to my Mum?

Also should I contact him or his mum only during the times when I would have had him or is that overthinking?

Any help will be appreciated and I’m sure other people may be in a situation.

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Last Edit: by IntrovertedDad.

Covid-19:Living with vulnerable person & co-parenting 2 months 1 week ago #105243

Hello IntrovertedDad,

My Son is in exactly the same situation as you with vulnerable elderly. Albeit neither of his children has displayed any symptoms he is not prepared to put at risk his family or indeed the maternal family of the children.
He is 'phoning his children every alternate day irrespective of the Court Order stating alternate weekend stays. Obviously it is not the same, he cannot see their reactions and the Mother is there at the time which I believe does not allow the children to talk as freely but he is maintaining contact.
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Last Edit: by MotherofaFather.

Covid-19:Living with vulnerable person & co-parenting 2 months 1 week ago #105244

MotherofaFather wrote: Hello IntrovertedDad,

My Son is in exactly the same situation as you with vulnerable elderly. Albeit neither of his children has displayed any symptoms he is not prepared to put at risk his family or indeed the maternal family of the children. He is 'phoning the children every alternate day. Obviously it is not the same, he cannot see their reactions and the Mother is there at the time which I believe does not allow the children to talk as freely but he is maintaining contact.


Thank you. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in this.

I have this underlying fear (for use of a better word) that my son will not be as close to me after all this has blown over (His mother is manipulative). But I also feel our bond is strong enough to come through this, even if I didn’t get to see him for a short while. Worse still it’s his birthday next week .

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Last Edit: by IntrovertedDad.

Covid-19:Living with vulnerable person & co-parenting 2 months 1 week ago #105250

Hello IntrovertedDad,

You most certainly are not alone feeling as you do!

No one sees me but I shed a tear everyday worrying, thinking of and missing my grandchildren.

As I have said my Son speaks to the children over the 'phone but I don't have any contact with my grandchildren at the moment since lock down. I keep a low profile as I do not want to jeopardize my Son's opportunity to speak to his children as their Mother is vindictive, has narcissistic traits and dislikes me immensely due to the fact she can neither impress, influence or control me, I do not give her the opportunity to. At the same time I do not antagonize her in any way.

Irrespective of their Mother I do have a wonderful relationship with my grandchildren and a very strong bond borne out of love, having fun and spending so much time together when they are with us. I do not feel concerned that this bond we have will be lessened due to the break in contact at the moment because we shall at the end of this go back to the wonderful times we had before which I know they love and enjoy. The same will apply to you and the bond you have with your Son. With him being a toddler you will be giving him your time and love, doing a lot of fun things with him and exploring which children love to do and through that your bond will go from strength to strength.

With regard to his birthday, I hope you can have a video talk with him on the day and sing happy birthday, send him a birthday card or make him one. I appreciate it is so difficult venturing out to even buy something and getting it delivered.
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Covid-19:Living with vulnerable person & co-parenting 2 months 1 week ago #105264

MotherofaFather wrote: Hello IntrovertedDad,

You most certainly are not alone feeling as you do!

No one sees me but I shed a tear everyday worrying, thinking of and missing my grandchildren.

As I have said my Son speaks to the children over the 'phone but I don't have any contact with my grandchildren at the moment since lock down. I keep a low profile as I do not want to jeopardize my Son's opportunity to speak to his children as their Mother is vindictive, has narcissistic traits and dislikes me immensely due to the fact she can neither impress, influence or control me, I do not give her the opportunity to. At the same time I do not antagonize her in any way.

Irrespective of their Mother I do have a wonderful relationship with my grandchildren and a very strong bond borne out of love, having fun and spending so much time together when they are with us. I do not feel concerned that this bond we have will be lessened due to the break in contact at the moment because we shall at the end of this go back to the wonderful times we had before which I know they love and enjoy. The same will apply to you and the bond you have with your Son. With him being a toddler you will be giving him your time and love, doing a lot of fun things with him and exploring which children love to do and through that your bond will go from strength to strength.

With regard to his birthday, I hope you can have a video talk with him on the day and sing happy birthday, send him a birthday card or make him one. I appreciate it is so difficult venturing out to even buy something and getting it delivered.


Thank you. These are difficult times for many! I video called my son today to wish him a Happy Birthday and sang it to him too (not the best version lol). He seemed reluctant to be happy or give a reaction which a little upsetting. I could see his Mother was behind him. He’s been through a lot through no fault of his own (I won’t go into in to it). I showed him his present which he will hopefully look forward to when he’s back with me. : )

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Covid-19:Living with vulnerable person & co-parenting 2 months 6 days ago #105290

Just an update: I rang our own GP surgery to seek advice about this situation, Basically I was informed that both my Mum and son should not be close to each other. So I could potentially not see my son for weeks on end. The health of both my Mum and son is the most important thing.

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