I am currently experiencing a very challenging situation involving my ex and her partner, a scenario I am sure many of you have endured.
I'm looking for some help and advice on what to do, who to seek, who to call. (not ghost busters!)
No but in all seriousness I'm really looking forward to receiving some help & support from other fathers and anyone who can point me in the right direction, I have battled with a very difficult ex for the past 6 years now and the time has finally come to stand my ground and fight.
She and her partner have approached me with a relocation issue and are looking to take me to court in order to move my child away from me.
I am aware I need to post in the right part of the forum - which part of the forum should I explain my current situation in?
Thanks guys, looking forward to speaking to you all.
if they are taking you to court, I would advise to let them pay for the application and do that. court will send you paperwork and ask you if you oppose the order? you tick yes, and you tell court you want a prohibited steps order, to prevent your child being moved away from you.
i think other dads that have dealt with this relocation issue can answer better.
far as i know, you would go to court to challenge your ex's court application, and you would not be paying for another application. the judge will rule whether your ex can or can not move the child away.
you should consider hiring a barrister for the court hearings.
Can I ask if you already have an existing Order in relation to your kid? If so, my understanding is the so-called 'resident' parent has to take the arrangements in an existing order into account if seeking to relocate - in other words,this parent would have to evidence how the existing order would continue to be feasible for the child if the location of one of the homes were to change.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago, presented to me when I dared let it be known that I wasn't able to tolerate seeing my son at restricted times based on his mum's whims, and wanted to have the times defined. One of the things my Barrister said subsequently was what I've said in the paragraph above.
If you don't have an existing order, then I would advise you to apply for a Specific Issue Order (Prohibited Steps) as soon as possible to prevent her just moving - particularly if she is planning on moving abroad. If you're confident your ex is wanting to do this officially via the court, then you could follow advise given by Bill337, and save yourself a bit of money. I know I had no confidence my son's mother wouldn't just relocate and present me (and court) with a move that had already happened, so I applied for an SIO at the same time as applying for Child Arrangements (to secure defined times my son spent with each of his parents), which comes as a 'buy one get one free' package - or at least it did 6 years ago.
If so no I don't have an order, thankfully I have never had to go through the court system with my ex.
We split up not long after our child was born and have a verbal arrangement between us that I have my child every other weekend and over the school holidays.
I am on the birth certificate thankfully, I read somewhere this helps the process? (Not sure how true that is).
I am confident they will go down the legal route rather than leaving without letting me know, but they have let me know they intend to fight me for this. They are basically looking to go abroad but if not then it could be up to 450 miles away from me here in the UK. Bearing in mind that I see my child consistently, have them on a regular basis, pay maintenance and have done since birth, how likely are they to win such a scenario?
Did you go through a solicitor and if so was that very expensive? I have been looking into Fathers for Justice, have you had any experience with them?
Thanks again for the reply, it is greatly appreciated
" In summary a review of the decisions of this court over the course of the last 30 years demonstrates that relocation cases have been consistently decided upon the application of the following two propositions:
(a) the welfare of the child is the paramount consideration; and
(b) refusing the primary carer's reasonable proposals for the relocation of her family life is likely to impact detrimentally on the welfare of her dependent children. Therefore her application to relocate will be granted unless the court concludes that it is incompatible with the welfare of the children"
This is a case that is similar to yours. Read "The Law" section. The rest of the case makes for interesting reading but may not be similar to yours:
Yes I completely agree with you that I need to remain civil and sensible, thankfully this is the attitude I have taken since day one regardless of whatever situation she has thrown at me.
Without bad mouthing the mother of my child I would like to express that she has been nothing but difficult and has made life hell for me. I am emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. I only say this because if possible I'd prefer to limit communication between us, we have communicated through text since breaking up to arrange picking up times etc. However this too has enabled her to become emotionally abusive toward me, I do have evidence of this and evidence of her threatening to withhold my child from seeing me. I'm not sure this would be relevant to this particular court case but if you have any advice as to how I could put an end to this abuse then it would definitely lift a huge weight of my shoulders - Just the thought of a text from her sends my anxiety sky high.
So long as contact is still taking place, there is not much you can do about the texts. Many of us have learnt to simply ignore them - they are rather a reflection of a troubled character who is unable to move away from their past.
However, this: " her threatening to withhold my child from seeing me"
might be somewhat relevant, as one of the tests for the reasons for her leaving the country is whether she wants to withhold the child from you. It's mildly relevant, but I can't see it swaying a judge's mind either way unless corroborated by other circumstances in your case.
Yeah I hope I don't sound selfish by saying I'd like to limit communication - I realize there are fathers on here who are experiencing a more difficult scenario than me but it's just got to the point of breaking me down so much even when I do ignore it.
Anyway just going to read through that link that you sent!