Weve had a final order from the courts and it is written to how we both wanted it to be but sadly the Mother of our child has now decided to read the order in a different way and use the only loop hole anyone could dig and find if they wanted to find a get out of childcare free card.
So its not realy a loop hole just being awkward to our original agreement.
The new rule thats been made from the non existant loop hole is regards to the drop off and collection at school times and somehow ive been made responsible for our child on a school day hours and that wasnt intended by the court as its not something we have ever done or anything ive agreed to as im always at work on this day.
I drop off to school on this 1 particular morning which is part of the 1st week schedule ( section 1) but once a fortnight it clearly states in a ( section 2 ) that my night visitation starts after school on that same day i have dropped him off.
So drop off is part of section 1 and section 2 is where my extra visitaion begins ( after school) .
However now especially in covid im being told i have to have our child in those school hours that they would normaly be in school for that day.
I can still do the normal afternoon collection at school time but i will need to do the morning drop off to the Mother as i have to go to work, but ive also been told any sickness or holidays i now have to leave work.
I feel like all the freedom i gained to not be mentaly abused by the court order has all been erased as im being bullied into this corner by the wording of the court order which i desperatly need explained better in detail.
What should i do as it seems only an explaination of the order is needed rather than a court date which will take months now and i suspect already working in back log. Any Judge being told this was all we are back in court for would im sure hit the roof.
Any advice please as its been going on a while through Covid already and im exhausted and having to beg her to look after our son to which im told I now owe her.
Lives with both parents just the Mother has 1 extra night a week which secures her a home and benefits , child benefits etc.
Ive gone through years of mental abuse and bullying and the guilt tripping is her speaciality but she is ruthless when wanting to teach me a lesson, thought nothing of dissapearing for 2 days at at time but to the outside world butter wouldnt melt it was a terrible existance.
I applied to court for child saftey reasons and gained a live with order..
Am i right in thinking that what we had in place i can still act upon as its very crafty what she has done.
If im dropping our son of at school at 9 then if the school is closed that realy should be to mums house and my visitaion weekend starts on the end of school time.
Im now being told what to do with our son on our time together and if i dont comply she won't help me anymore so basically she just wont be at home to have our son so i can go to work.
No different from when i lived there, never knew if she would come back so i could go to work, im so desperate to break away from her manipulation and i honestly thought the court order was the end of it all.
seems to be a poorly worded order. i know how it is. my ex doesn't care about my work commitments. i'm in the middle of a career change so i can free up more time for myself and kids.
if she's unreasonable, either you can put up with this arrangement. or you could have a consultation with a solicitor. see if its possible to write up the order so its worded properly, and see if its possible to send that off to court to get it approved, without you having to make court appearances.
The reason you are probably not getting answers from solicitors is they may not know.
I got an opinion from a barrister during my Child Arrangements process and then used a direct access one to get my Order.
I have a spend time with Order to prevent my ex using me as default childcare. I would see if you can get a direct access barrister to give you advice. You probably need one with a minimum of 8 years experience. They are cheaper than solicitors but you need to pay them upfront.
Personally in your shoes I would live with the Order but work at disengaging from your ex by arranging my own support network to help care for my child - can you get a babysitter for those Fridays - and keeping communication to the absolute minimum in writing.
it could be possible. when i made my c100 application online, there was a section where it asked:
Do you have a signed draft court order you want the court to consider making legally binding?
If you’ve made a decision about your child arrangements with the other parent (the respondent) you can ask the court to consider making it legally binding. This is known as a consent order.
This question only applies to any new agreement. Do not include any previous agreements or orders the court may have made.
I am not 100% sure. keep looking up solicitors and have a chat, ideally a free consultation. their not all jerks. you will come across a decent one sooner or later.
** as previous poster mentioned, you could look up a direct access barrister from direct access portal and see what they think.
Thank you Greengage as i have no idea regarding solicitors and barristers, i went to court self represented last time.
I have no money for legal but could find enough for a one off meeting.
I cant live with the order due to her thinking i owe her and im getting phone calls between 6am and all through work and even when im with my new partner ive been told strictly if i dont engage then i get left holding the baby the abuse on the phone is awfull.
Due to covid i have no network i literaly have nobody and my family is very small.
Family have helped me get this far pre covid but i realised i couldnt carry on after last weeks abuse through work i was almost in breakdown.
Bill wouldnt that be what they did in this case?
ill have to do some googling as i thought when the agreement was put to the court and drawn up by the court that was binding.
it seems such a mindfiled and its utter madness I rarely ring her i avoid it like the plague , i cope with all eventualites i dont understand how she can still wnat to be so much in communication....she simple wont let me be happy.