I have just received an email from my ex saying that she wants to take our daughter out of school for another year, as opposed to her returning in September with her classmates, and that she has spoken to the school, and has been advised to let them know by next week, at least 4 days before the end of term so they can de-register our daughter. So time is of the essence as I personally don't feel this is the right move, and one that will have a detrimental effect on our daughter's wellbeing and education for many reasons, not to mention that my ex has struggled to home school our daughter during lockdown.
I started writing an email back, but thought I would see if anyone could advise me here first, as ultimately, my ex is going to do whatever she wants regardless of how I feel - as is generally the case - and quite often she will do whatever I don't want her to do, just to get at me. Do I have any legal ground to stand on? I can't believe she has sprung this on me at last minute, right before the end of term,
Our daughter is 7. She would be going into year 3 in September.
Her reasons are:
1. Because of how covid is affecting schools, in sense of them not being able to operate quite as normal right now. But that's the same for every school and it's just the way it is.
2. The school has been taken over by an academy, so naturally, there are some changes that are coming with that: new headteachers, new uniform, new school name, etc. She feels that it would be better for our daughter to return after the school has settled into those changes. But, in my opinion, it's going be an even bigger change for our daughter if she doesn't return for another year.
To be blunt, it's all a load of rubbish. My ex has always done this - she gets a novel idea and then gets carried away and then ends up regretting it. She did it even before our daughter was born. She acts impulsively and in a way that she expects everyone else to be onboard with whatever nonsensical idea she has next. She's delusional. In her mind, homeschooling for another year will be a fun, novel idea, and it will mean she can be with our daughter more often (she doesn't like our daughter being away from her side for even a moment ,and this will help her succeed in making our daughter feel like she can't live without her mum - an issue that has been ongoing - emotional manipulation).
I could go on and on about the reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea. But I am refraining as not to write an essay.
i see. i have come across women who want to home school kids for their safety. bubble wrap them when going outside. i don't think there is much that can be done, other than a court application about specific issue/prohibited steps order. annoying stuff.
At the moment i wouldnt do anything. I would wait and see what she does after summer holidays. Last i heard all children are meant to be back in school by september and if they fail to attend then your ex will be fined for non attendance and get into trouble
I think you would need to go to court as a prohibitive steps issue.
In the meantime could you speak to the school and raise a dispute so that they hold off on deregistering?
This would all need to be done in the context of the risk of your ex stopping contact with child and whether you have a CAO in place that you can enforce etc. Only you know your ex and risk of getting involved with this decision.
Update: I rang the school this morning. The receptionist said there was probably nothing they could do, but they would try and find out who my ex spoke to and what was said and ask them to give me a call back. I've not received a call back and now the school closed. I did call in again earlier and they again told me someone would contact me. They are aware that my ex plans to de-register our daughter tomorrow so they are aware that it is urgent. They didn't seem that concerned though.
I then spoke to Child Law Advice who advised me to make an application for a prohibitive steps order asap. I have done that but now have to wait for up to three days for someone to call me to take my payment, and until then the application won't be processed. Although I am not going to be get my case heard in court before tomorrow, Child Law Advice said to do it anyway, as it may be that the judge can order for our daughter to be enrolled back in to the school in time for September, and also that I needed to do it to get something in place to prevent my ex from making important decisions regarding our daughter without my consent in the future.
I have since, as advised, emailed my ex to outline my concerns and to let her know that a prohibitive steps order has been made. She has since replied with a load more rubbish, trying again to convince me that this is the best thing for our daughter. I have responded to further emphasise my concerns and reasons why our daughter should return in September. She is likely to respond with more rubbish. How far do I go with my emails? Should I keep pushing? Or should I just leave it now and hope that she doesn't go through with the de-registration tomorrow/wait for the court to intervene.
I would leave it now with the ex. There is the risk that emotions run high and things are said that could lead to serious allegations such as threats or Harassment even if false thus impacting your short term ability to have a say in your child's life.
Your ex has explained her view and you have explained her. You final thing to say to the ex is potentially that as she has made the decision on her own without initially consulting you and as you have a difference of opinions to what is right for your child it is best to discuss this further in court and that you hope an amicable outcome can be reached without impacting on the long term relationship between you.
Business like, peaceful and amicable is whats needed.
Defo let the school know tomorrow that you have filed for prohibited steps and that the matter is in dispute and maybe request that they hold deregistering until after the matter is resolved at court.
She did respond again. I took your advice and mentioned how I hadn't been consulted, etc, and that I felt it was best left to the court now. I did add a few final notes on my views and concerns and some very invalid arguments she was making, but made sure I kept it to the point and specifically let her know that was my final email on the topic, and that I hope she will consider my views in making her decision.
Good point about contacting the school tomorrow. I did leave them a voicemail this afternoon requesting they ring me first thing. I will contact them if I don't hear from them first and make them aware that I have made an application to court.