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TOPIC: How much longer can this continue?

How much longer can this continue? 9 years 7 months ago #8068

Hi all. I am new to this site.

Would lke some feedback if amyone can help me please?

I have my daughter mon-fri, ex-wife has her fri-sun. Things have become very bitter between myself and my ex since I have entered a new relationship. My ex has accused me of being a peadophile, many reports to the social saying I am a bad dad and abusing my daughter. The social and the police have investigated and have not upheld my ex's complaints.

My ex blackmails me before I can speak to my daughter and then verbally abuses me infront of the child. my daughter is 7. my daughter returns from "contact" with her mother and is confrontational, angry and upset. My ex swears infront of my daughter (big time) and feels that this is "normal". The ex keeps on breaking the court order, then blaming me!

I have taken legal advise and advise from the social and applied to the court for a variation to the court order. The court process seems to be dragging and I feel nobody is listening to me. my ex tries to control my life with my daughter and contantly undermines me, ignores my daughters medical needs, threatening to take my daughter to the doctor because of "x,y,z" and accuses me of bad parenting and neglect only for her not to seek help claiming she has "sorted" the medical issue herself.

It is clear that I am being subjected to domestic abuse and I have spoken to various agencies about this, but again I feel I am not being listened to or taken seriously. I love my daughter and don't want for her to be subjected to this mental and emtional abuse by her mother any longer. I am devastated that I seem unable to stop her....

Cheers for any help

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Re: How much longer can this continue? 9 years 7 months ago #8069

Hi bluesalltheway,

Sorry to hear the situation you find yourself in. It sounds very hard for you & your daughter. You may want to try getting some legal advice from the children's legal centre. There's a link to their site on the top right of this page. They may be able to offer you further support or advice. You might also find they're able to answer your question into how long to expect the court order to take & other questions about the process you're in.

I hope this is helpful to you. I'm sure others can suggest other links that may be of help to you. Keep us updated!

Springchicken

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Re: How much longer can this continue? 9 years 7 months ago #8070

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Hi,

Can you just clarify one point - when you say you have taken legal advice is that in the past, or are you still using the services of a solicitor?

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Re: How much longer can this continue? 9 years 7 months ago #8095

I have a solicitor at the moment, but feel like "not a lot is happening". Ex broke the court order and did not return daughter till after court order time. I have asked solicitor if an application to the court to enforce the order would be appropriate?

Ex's behaviour is getting really quite "worrying". Towards our child and towards myself and my partner.

Still feels like nobody is listening to me. :cry:

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Re: How much longer can this continue? 9 years 7 months ago #8097

Hi

Sounds pretty bad and I hope you get it sorted soon.

I am sure that the children's legal centre cannot help you if you have a solicitor acting for you. However it sounds like you need to be firm with your current solicitor after all they work for you!!

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Re: How much longer can this continue? 9 years 7 months ago #8102

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Hi BluesATW

I agree with Super Mario - your solicitor should be able to give you an idea of timescales and what the the process ahead should be.

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Re: How much longer can this continue? 9 years 6 months ago #8266

Just thought I would add my two-pence worth here. I had (/have) a similiar experience with my ex. She is aggressive, verbally abusive, harassing and doesn't think twice about swearing in front of our child who is now 5. I decided not to use a solicitor (I think they are way too overrated and expensive..apologies if I've offended any solicitors on here..) and instead applied directly to the courts in person for a non-molestation order which would make it an arrestable offence if she behaves in this way in front of me. The order was granted by the courts on the same day that I applied for it and a few weeks later she was served with the documents. This proved to be a success for me and the order changed her attitude for the better. Not sure if you've considered this option, but it worked for me. Hope you manage to get this resolved eventually.

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Re: How much longer can this continue? 9 years 5 months ago #8455

Thanks for the reply.

A NMO has been suggested a few times by various agencies. I suppose I have not applied for one as I don't want to be seen as inflamming a situation. I did comment that nothing seems to temper her behaviour!!!

I can only comment that for as long as she "plays up" that it makes herself look bad and unreasonable!

I will look into a NMO thanks.

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