TOPIC: Help needed

Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73647

Hi there LeCompte72,

So glad to hear that your talk with your daughter went relatively well :)

I was 11 when my parents split up (they'd been married for 17 years). When they sat me and my brother down to tell us we were distraught as we didn't have a clue they were having problems (good on them for not subjecting us to their fighting I guess).

The reason i am telling you this is because I think we were in shock at the start and were in denial for a bit. So I'm not saying this is happening with your daughter, but keep an eye on it as this is a big deal for her. It's good that she's going away for a break, but you may have to reassure her when she gets back and you're not there.

When i saw my dad in the weeks following the split (at weekends) I could see how desperately sad he was at being away from us. So, as hard as it will be, try to be upbeat when you see her (not too much obviously, you're not a machine, lol).

Sorry if I've brought you down, I really hope things work out well for you and your daughter. I've just been that 11 year old girl and wanted to to tell you my experience in case she's feeling the same.

On the plus side, my dad got full custody of me and my brother after a few weeks, as we didn't want to live with mum (it was her actions that caused the marriage to fail and we blamed her for sending dad away, but that's another story, lol).

Anyway, I've waffled on enough. I really truly hope everything goes smoothly for you. And take care of yourself.

x

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Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73649

Hi spotted tree, I think you've hit the nail on the head, it's her way of dealing with it. When she gets back on Monday and I'm not here it will prob sink in. I've said that I will take her out swimming on Tuesday and for lunch, hopefully that will help.
Many thanks for your support
Ian

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Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73654

Morning all
Just a few more bits to move today and I'm done, feeling a little anxious about it all this morning but I'm sure it will ease once I get on with things. Spoke to my daughter last night and this morning (she's gone to Wales with her mum) she seems fine so that's really helping me at this time
Wishing you all a great Easter weekend
Ian

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Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73668

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I'm glad to hear that you are coping and that your daughter is managing too...that's down to you and your wife, your daughter will be taking her lead from you both and because of the way that you have dealt with this, she feels secure and loved and you should be proud that you were strong enough to do that for her.

All the best LC.

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DadTalk Moderator... I'm not legally trained and my responses are my own views based on my experiences of the family court. I have plenty of common sense and can offer you emotional support and guide you to answers.

Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73746

Hi folks, plodding along as you do, trying to settle in to my new life. My daughter is being brilliant and so strong I'm so proud. She will be staying with me Friday night, can't wait.
I was back to work yesterday only part time though, will do that for a couple of weeks. Still feeling a bit rubbish with nausea in the morn but it does eventually fade.
Hope everybody is doing well
Best regards
Ian

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Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73748

Hello LeCompte72,

I have been following your posts and would like to say how well I think you are doing.

Have you thought about mentioning the nausea to your doctor? If appropriate, he could prescribe an anti- emetic for you. Feeling as you do in the mornings must be putting you off eating which is so important to your wellbeing, particularly if you have become debilitated through anxiety and stress.

Have fun and enjoy Friday night with your daughter.
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Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73770

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Hi Ian,
Well done in getting back to work, that is the best tonic for you.
Have a really good time with your daughter. My son lives with me alternate weeks and it really does perk me up when he comes home.
Well done,
Alan
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Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73832

Hi folks, all going well so far, still feels a bit weird but I'm pushing on.
My daughter seems pretty ok and enjoyed staying with me, she's staying this Friday also. Being back at work is helping and hopefully helping overall.
Best regards to you all, speak soon
Ian

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Help needed 3 years 2 months ago #73833

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Hi there

Thanks for updating us and lovely to hear that you're doing better. Really nice that your daughter is staying with you too. Keep posting and we are all here for you.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.