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TOPIC: Young papa not allowed to see his 9 week old baby :(

Young papa not allowed to see his 9 week old baby :( 8 months 1 week ago #94868

This post could go in a number of categories, I know but I am seriously at a loss...

I am 17 and my now ex girlfriend is also 17. We have recently had a baby boy together and everything was going great until recently when she started lying and being abusive, but that isn't important.

As we have split up, I don't get to see the baby as often as I would like. She is breast feeding and I understand that it is important, especially in the early months or so, that they baby is kept near to the mother, but she appears to be using it as an excuse to stop me from seeing my little one, and it's breaking my heart!

I have only been allowed to see him for a maximum of 1 hour, once or twice a week. I have begged her to up this to 1.5 hours each visit but she has refused because she needs to be "weaned" off him. The "slots" that I give are never convenient for her because of her social calendar and his apparently "erratic" feeding schedule.

This week, as usual I sent the days that I would like to see my son and she straight up refused me all of the days due to her social calendar, except for one on friday. So I tried to ask her if she could express some milk and I'll have him for two/three hours with the promise that I'll return him if he needs her. She refused this.

I am on the birth certificate and the registrar said that we have equal rights, responsibilites etc over the baby, so I am coming on here to ask if I am able to have my child for the ammount of time that I choose and when, or if it is down to the mother to say when I can have him, and how long for.

From my understanding, I can choose when he sees me, and how long for and she doesn't actually get to dictate because it's the childs right to bond with his dad, just as much as their mum regardless of if they are being breast fed or not.

I don't know, I just feel that it's so wrong that I have to fight to see my child when I want to :( Should I lower my expectations?

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Young papa not allowed to see his 9 week old baby :( 8 months 1 week ago #94877

  • Yoda
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I don't think you should lower your expectations but unfortunately, she can dictate what happens regarding the time you spend with your son. It's not right or fair to you or your son, and he is entitled to have a relationship with you so please don't give up as she's not behaving in an appropriate way.

If she won't agree time then perhaps try inviting her to attend mediation. If she won't attend or attends but won't agree to a sensible schedule then you can make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order. Things can get a bit bumpier when you start these processes, but if she's not agreeing now, at least you would have something set up for your son going forward.

You have to try mediation first as the court won't let you make an application without having tried that route first.

Best of luck

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I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.
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