TOPIC: Career or Family - Do I have to choose?

Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59752

Morning All,

I'm mainly writing to vent a little, as there has been some stresses at work. But more so recently, I've been wondering if i'm doing the right thing....

Two years ago I was working in IT for a local company. I'd trained myself, and they'd given me a chance to get into IT professionally. Unfortunately I wasn't entirely happy there and was looking for a new challenge. By chance I saw a job ad, and my GF suggested that I apply (I was fairly certain I wouldn't get a second glance)...

Anyway, long story short, I got the job - improved prospects, higher salary, promotion prospects and all working for a recognisable global company. Basically my dream job...

Now however, I find myself stressing about work, there's alot going on both at work and at home.
We have a young daughter, we have to juggle contact transport every fortnight for my children coming over, or my stepkids going to see their dad.
I'm on-call at least once a month for a week, and my role has been diversified to cover two sites with the possibility of promotion.

Basically, I'm wondering if I can have my cake and eat it...
The job is leading me forward into a career which I can enjoy, and can happily provide for my family and myself.
But, I feel as though I'm stretching myself thin and this is impacting both my work and my time with my family...

Is it possible to do both, or am I going to have to ditch my career?
(Career or family is an easy choice, but I don't want to just throw away such a great opportunity)

I don't know...
BD

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59755

Hi there,

I don't see why you couldn't do both, it takes organising and there will be stress, but if your career is worth that then you will manage it.

I would keep going at what your doing and see where it takes you, if and when you get the promoion the chances are it could all settle down a bit and once you find a routine that works you will hopefully be able to balance things better.

GTTS
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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59757

Cheers GTTS,

I think I'm just having a day where everything is catching up with me...
The Final hearing was in December, and I think that, coupled with the stress of Christmas, New Year, new contact arrangements, along with Work - it's all just piled onto my brain today! :)

I emailed my manager this morning just to have a brief chat, and he's been very supportive - and is aware of all the court and contact stuff- so I feel a bit better knowing that there's support from that side.

I think a few days off may be required to recharge the old batteries!

Cheers,
BD.

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59759

Hi,

It's always the way, my wife sometimes has a 1.5hr bus journey to get to work and it gets to her, it's only when traffic is bad, but when it's like that she wants to leave her job and find something else and says she doesn't know how much longer she can do it, then after a week of relitively easy bus journeys (still 1 hour and 2 buses) she doesn't feel so bad.

Having an undersatnding boss is always a good thing and being able to vent here too always helps Lol

GTTS

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59760

Currently do around 420 miles a week commuting (A1/A1M/A14), and then every fortnight I do another 280 miles for contact transport... seem to either be at work or driving lol.

I think it's just because there's always somewhere to go or something to do, I don't really seem to have any "time off".
But that's just been dealt with - Friday booked off, long weekend and just after payday too!

BD

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59767

Hi,

The old A1 A1M I know it well, a long boring drag!!!

I used to visit my old companies head office in Hatfield and then drive to see an ex in Hull, worst time I did that was in very heavy rain on my motorbike that was not fun Lol

GTTS

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59790

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That's my neck of the woods - console yourself that in less than 10 years, the A14 will have been widened!!

I used to do long distance commuting when I was contracting, and then for 5 years into London - used a motorbike almost exclusively for that in all weather except heavy snow, definitely the way to commute through heavy traffic.

BD - is there any way you can work from home sometimes? Or alternatively, work long days for 4 days and have the 5th day off?

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #59998

Hi ACTD,

A14 is not my usual neck of the woods as I'm Lincoln/Nottingham way. Unfortunately we have a site in Cambridge that needed supporting, and I'm the only member of the team who isn't based in London... Apparently they consider Peterborough site and Cambridge site "very close to each other" so I have to go down there once or twice a week. But hey - two site coverage should hopefully look positive come review time :)

As for a London commute, I've been asked once before about that - told them I'd want a 120% payrise and to work from home on a Friday ;)

At present I do 3-4 days Peterborough, and 1-2 days Cambridge, averaging around 420 - 470 miles a week. Due to the nature of the job, and the limited knowledge base of some team members, I have to usually be on-site. I can get away with working from home occasionally - and also spend at least 1 week a month on-call 24/7.

To be honest, I'm feeling better about it all now I've had a chat with my OH about it all. She is currently on Maternity leave which has impacted the household budget, so things have been tight, we haven't seemed to have any time together, and the weekends have been manic generally.

...But we're getting there. OH is back to work in April, so I should start to see more of my pay in my pocket (which is good because I'm keen to get myself an Alfa! LOL) and once we've nailed down the site issues, I should be back to once a week for the Cambridge run... I think I just need to chill out and not get so stressed about things, take it as it comes and enjoy my time :)

Cheers,
BD.

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #60010

Hi Mate,

Glad to hear your feeling better about things, they usually work out ok, that is a lot of miles to cover, I would hate to have to drive that much, my comute to work is 25 mins and about 10 miles ish, it's only the traffic that holds me up, I don't work many weekends but when I do I can get to my garage in about 10-15 mins I'm not a fan of driving so try and avoid it when I can.

Now that said I will go and do long journeys for fun on my bike buts that's a whole different experience Lol

GTTS

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #60110

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I'm the other way to GTTS - I used to do a lot of commuting and I used a big bike for pretty much all of it, usually put 30k+ miles on the bike per year, and I only used it for getting to and from work, never for weekend runs out - it's worth considering (but also consider the risk), traffic becomes something you see behind you :D

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #60295

Hi ACTD,

I get the distinct feeling that if I were on a bike, I'd kill myself pretty quickly ;)
The OH loves her bikes, I however am a creature of comfort - too accustomed to climate control, SIPS and cushioned lumbar support :P

We currently have a 307SW Pug diesel (wanted a 7 seater that was fairly cheap and not HUGE) which is OK for what it is, but it isn't the most luxurious place to sit when doing 2000 miles a month... I'm currently sweet talking the missus about holding off on the new kitchen so I can buy myself an Alfa, but i don't think she's having any of it!

Oh well, we'll see what happens. I've been on-call 3 times this month and I have some company stocks clearing soon - Might just go out and buy one and prepare for the hassle afterwards :P

BD

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Career or Family - Do I have to choose? 4 years 6 months ago #60443

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Badgerdom wrote: Hi ACTD,

I get the distinct feeling that if I were on a bike, I'd kill myself pretty quickly ;)


Yeah, that's one of the reasons why I gave up - if I didn't kill myself, someone else was likely to do it :(

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