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TOPIC: Child custody schedule

Child custody schedule 1 month 1 week ago #96737

Hi,

I have been seperated from my wife since last May.

I have my two kids (5 and 7) from Thursday evening through to Sunday evening each week (they get dropped back at 7pm).

I have been doing this for a while now but I’m exhausted. I work during the week and work from home on a Friday and then have two kids by myself at the weekend. I have absolutely no free time, it’s work and kids.

I very much love my kids but I am finding it hard going. I’m thinking of asking for a different schedule with my ex such that every other week I drop the kids back at 2pm on a Saturday. That would give me 1.5 days free every other week where I can have some time to myself.

My ex doesn’t work and so currently she has Thursday night, all day Friday and Saturday and Sunday up to 7pm.

I was wondering if anyone had any comments on what I would like to propose. Do you think it seems reasonable?

I wonder how other fathers do this when they are working full time and their ex doesn’t work?

Many thanks in advance.

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Child custody schedule 1 month 1 week ago #96742

  • crx
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Many men would kill to have the time you get.
When you have kids me time goes out of the window to a certain extent and lifes fulfilment comes from your kids.
I know when I was younger though i neglected my dutys as a dad and had me time having fun messing around. But I'm now 41 and look back and regret a lot and wish someone had told me to stop being a idiot and enjoy life with my kids cos they grow so fast and every second with them is precious especially when you only get a few days with them your already losing out in time with them.
They are children not a chore.

Fathers do work full time as single dads just like some women do as single mothers, you just get on with it.
I'm as good as a single dad a few days a week due to space problems (two adults, 20 and 19 year old and 3,6 and 9 year old and 2x 3 bedroom houses) and have my daughter from my ex full time and my 6 year old while running a business but it's helped by me being my own boss. Only weekends do I have my wife around.
I hope you don't try to lessen time with your kids they need you too

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Child custody schedule 1 month 6 days ago #96743

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I think we have to appreciate that one size doesn’t fit all!
Everyone needs free time, when there’s just the one parent and a couple of young kids it’s demanding! I think the previous poster has much more support around the home, the older kids do help to spread the care around a bit.

Some full time jobs are much harder either physically or mentally and that break at the weekends isa necessity. Some people’s energy levels are higher than others, some people aren’t natural parents... we don’t judge here.

If you’re struggling and need some extra down time, you should speak to your ex about changing the schedule.

Many Dads feel that alternate weekends and a weekly midweek visit suits them more, some opt for a three on and one off weekend. If you’re happy with the reduced schedule you propose in your post, that’s also reasonable in my opinion.

She may object, but she can’t force you to have them every weekend if you need a change. If there’s a problem talking to her, or reaching an amicable agreement, you could try mediation to try and sort it out. If she threatens to stop all contact, mediation would be the first step before making an application to court anyway.

Best of luck

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Child custody schedule 1 month 6 days ago #96744

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Simply giving my views from being a dad.. Can't say dad cos I wasn't, I was a idiot that had, kids but didn't put them first and had "me time" to being a dad who wanted time with my kids to now being as good as a single dad while running a business full time without any support during the week whilst I have my 10 year old also have my 6 year old 4 or 5 days,

Trying to cut time with kids seems to go against the.. Because dad's matter.. To kids.
Ey kids I can have you without a fight mum's decent but I'm possibly going to cause a fight cos I want less time with you.
Poster has Sunday to Wednesday night after work free to himself. Poster is a very lucky man in my opinion and I'm sure plenty other mens eyes
I

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Child custody schedule 1 month 6 days ago #96754

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We’re all different crx, we welcome everyone’s views as you know, but it’s always good to have more than one way of looking at something.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator...

I'm not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

I may not be legally trained... but I have plenty of experience and common sense!

Child custody schedule 1 month 6 days ago #96761

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Exactly.
It's why I posted as a single dad of one 5 days a week and single dad of 2 sometimes 4 or 5 days with no help.
I also pick my daughters friend up from school 3 days a week and she comes back with my kids to my garage until six because her mother is a carer and works six days and earns a pittance, she's single she just gets on with it.
Blokes in my circle would say man up stop whinging like a bit*h.
And from the pms guys send me on here it seems like a lot like my way of saying things they just don't have it in them to post it in public due to the type of replys I sometimes get on public posts

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