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TOPIC: A year with the kids

A year with the kids 11 years 6 months ago #650

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According to the news , Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg thinks we should be allowed up to a year of paternity leave instead of the statutory two weeks as at present.

How does that sound?

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Re: A year with the kids 11 years 6 months ago #651

As a dad - Brilliant!!!!!!! That would be amazing - but no it's a silly idea... :(

As an employer, in a small business, requiring highly skilled (i.e. difficult to replace and expensive) it would be a complete nightmare. Infact, it would shut me down.

Mind you - how many families work well when the father is always in the home???? (i.e. a balance works - this would create an in balance)...

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Re: A year with the kids 11 years 6 months ago #660

Ooooh - it could be amazing or terrible! Sometimes my patience with the kids is extremely low after just a day looking after them on my own. But some days with just family are something to treasure. I certainly think it would be of great benefit if more fathers could take longer off. I'd be more in favour of a scheme that enables more father's to take time off on full pay rather than simply extending the time available on statutory paternity pay - raising the level across the board, so to speak.

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Re: A year with the kids 11 years 5 months ago #686

I don't think we can have true equal rights at work until men and women have equal responsibility for the bringing up of the child.

I think the ideal solution should be to give the "Parents" 1 year combined parental leave. So the mother could have 11 months off and father 1 or they could both have 6 months.

It would be a nightmare to manage and administer but I think it's the only fair way.

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Re: A year with the kids 11 years 4 months ago #861

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I like weylunduk's idea. I'm not sure you need two parents at home all the time and I feel for batman - I always think about small businesses when I see these new rules coming along. It's alright for big corporates but I think small businesses should be exempt from a lot of it.

On the subject of both being at home, I took the two weeks paternity plus a week holiday and felt very proud of myself. Recently, I was talking to the wife about it and she said she remembers wishing I was going back at the end of the second week: she wanted to 'get on with her new life'! Felt a bit deflated after that. :?

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Re: A year with the kids 11 years 4 months ago #866

...1 year combined parental leave.

An interesting point is, to some extent, that it would level the playing field for those seeking jobs. As a family started, either parent could disappear from the workforce for x months. Employers becoming more able to equally select a man or woman for a job (given that they are both equally competent for the job).

...wishing I was going back at the end of the second week...

I used to get this even when I had a day off at home. It seemed to throw my wife's household rythm out of kilt.

...'get on with her new life'! Felt a bit deflated after that.

I have a strong sense that there are sooooo many readjustments that a newborn is a catalyst for ...
eg, nookie goes out the window for many months, baby becomes the centre of everything, dad is (potentially) fingers and thumbs in doing most things 'baby', dad is the second parent around in evenings and weekend (& takes baby extra time to attach with dad).
So on reflection, having felt pushed out with each of our 3 children, it was a necessary process for us as a couple as we shifted to family, putting the children's needs ahead of our own. I guess this is another strand of the maturing process as we grow into fathers.
/orange

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Re: A year with the kids 10 years 6 months ago #2915

I'm certainly going to be taking a year off to bond with my kids - I think its incredibly important. It will be tight financially but it will be worth it - once in a lifetime experience!

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Re: A year with the kids 10 years 6 months ago #2956

Hi all

Not sure that you need to take a year off to bond with your kids, I used to work long hours but have reduced these and I am there for my kids when they need me.

They are a little older now but I am expected to run them around, help with homework and really importantly be there at tea time so we can all eat together.

The first year is an amazing one but I think it is the further ones that shape their lives!

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