Independence in relationships

Have you ever thought about some of the things you could do to help protect your independence whilst in a relationship? recently looked at the impact of LAT and social media on your relationship…

Living apart together

Ever heard of living apart together? Some couples find they are able to balance independence with companionship, intimacy and support by exploring the option of living apart together (LAT). So that’s being in a relationship but living in separate homes. Those in LAT relationships identify themselves as being in a committed relationship, choosing to remain unmarried and to live apart.

Does LAT promote more intentional time together?

There are reasons why many couples embrace this phenomenon, and although each couple relationship is unique, some consider LAT to help maintain independence while still experiencing the benefits of a supportive and loving relationship.

Although some may end up LAT due to circumstances rather than by choice (e.g. lack of money, having to live at home, studying or working in different areas), it offers a solution for couples in more serious relationships who wish to maintain their own identity and independence. It can also be a good way of intentionally planning quality time together, something that is perhaps neglected  when living together. Foregoing the next ‘natural’ step of cohabitation may work for some, but not others. It is important to consider how this increasingly embraced lifestyle choice is helping to strengthen your relationship. Would LAT benefit or damage the health of your family unit if another person was to be added to the mix- say a pair of tiny feet? Intentional time away from your partner could help protect the health of a relationship, but is LAT the answer for moments of volatility experienced in a relationship? Could underlying issues causing damage in a relationship be resolved by working on the foundations of trust, communication and honesty?

Related articles: 

How to Argue Better

What is Trust?



Some couples find going ‘official’ on Facebook official can threaten their independence.

Curating your life on social media... does it actually help your relationship?

Updating your relationship status on Facebook could help strengthen your couple relationship and even bring you closer together, and that is the goal- to form a solid relationship. However, if not handled with care, you may feel as though you are losing your independence in the relationship by the simple act of updating your relationship status on Facebook to ‘In a Relationship’. Why? The merging of social networks could negatively impact on your sense of privacy and independence. There is a possible sense of feeling ‘monitored’ by your partner and the social media platform has the potential of threatening your sense of autonomy. These things tend to creep in slowly and subtly, and it is certainly something to watch out for should you feel as though you are falling into the trap of either constantly checking your partner’s interactions, and vice versa. Transparency with your partner is key, on and off the social media platform.

Is it that important for Facebook to know your relationship status? There are pros and cons. If you use your Facebook profile as a way of building and maintaining authentic relationships, then it is a great way to keep the people in your world up-to-date on important life events such as your commitment to your partner.

Related articles: Ten Things to Help Your Relationship Long Term

What about you?

What do you do to maintain independence whilst in your couple relationship? Do you schedule intentional time apart? Perhaps you find time out with the lads helpful? Do you find deliberate time apart from your parter helps strengthen your relationship when together? Share your thoughts below or go onto our online forum where there are over 27,000 other dads talking and sharing experiences.


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Guest Wednesday, 21 March 2018