What to do if concerned about the wellbeing of your child while in the care of the other parent

If you are concerned at any point for your children’s wellbeing, do remember that there are steps you can take, and help is available. It is important that your children are kept safe during and after a separation.  You might have a concern about how your ex is looking after your children, or the behaviour of someone they have living/visiting their home. If you are concerned at any point for your children’s wellbeing, do remember that there are steps you can take, and help is available


First Steps

If the concerns are not urgent or you think your child is in immediate danger, the first step is often to raise your concerns directly with your ex.

If you are concerned about how she is looking after your children, it might be the result of her not feeling she is coping or other difficulties. Trying to find out what is happening, and seeing if there is anything you can do to help take on some more care for your children might be a good first step.

You may find it easier to have this kind of difficult conversation in mediation; it will depend a lot on your individual relationship. If you want to find a mediator, find out more at the Family Mediation Council.

Serious concern

If your concerns about your child’s wellbeing are urgent and serious, contact the police immediately. Do not wait to do some investigation or ‘be sure’, it is important to take action.

You can also contact social services, or you can contact the NSPCC who also provide support and will take immediate action to safeguard the safety of a child.

Find out more about the support the NSPCC provide parents concerned about abuse here.

How do I support my child to see their other parent when I’m worried about potential abuse?

If there are concerns about the safety of your child, and possible abuse, then it is a more complicated situation and one which you will need support to work through.

Keeping your child safe is the most important priority, but there may be ways to do this, which will still enable them to see their other parent – whether it is through supervised visits or some other way of monitoring what happens. 

In this circumstance, get support, as you cannot work this out alone.

Hide comments (2)


  • Guest
    ... Saturday, 10 March 2018


    My daughter is being neglected emotionally and mentally abused. Children services won't do anything. What can I do?

  • Guest
    Mr x Sunday, 14 October 2018

    Mr x

    My son was taken from me by a spitful x yet he lived 4 days week woth me due to mental issues, he has had serious accidents in her care a dummy selotaped in his mouth and let run around on a main road social services did nothing told me nothing not did the police what do I do

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Guest Saturday, 27 February 2021

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