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Merry Christmas from

Christmas is a mixed affair. A general sense of fun coupled with exhaustion as we get closer to the actual date. A nagging sense of having not bought enough…sometimes any….presents. Guilt as we are thanked for presents we didn’t know existed. Dreading younger children waking us earlier than the most demanding of jobs requires. Food that we have desired for weeks…and yet, when it gets to it, exhaustion and over expectation robbing us of our appetites. Drink is supposed to flow but the need to drive children/ourselves/grandparents/pets to different venues yet again deprive us of an easy afternoon with a glass of…ahem, sherry.

And yet…

We look at our kids at Christmas and even more than on their birthdays we notice how much taller and mature they are. The language of love becomes commonplace for a few days. Perhaps in a way it should all year! Christmas is a bubble of care. Sure there are “moments” but in the run of things, these are days to rejoice and celebrate.

So I thought I would jot down my thoughts on how to take real and deep pleasure from the relationship with have with our children over the next few days.

Firstly, don’t sweat the small stuff.

Don’t worry when they answer back or slam a door. It doesn’t really matter. And, if we can take those moments in good grace, them down deep they know…and love us for it.

Secondly, tale the time to share dreams and hopes.

If we don’t have a dream, how can we expect them to? And if we don’t share ours, how would they learn to share theirs?

Thirdly, rest in the moment.

Be present. Put the phone down…publicly….and memorise the moments of love and joy that can be so rare in the complex world they live in.

Finally, tell them you approve of them.

Tell them you will always love them. Tell them you like them. Tell them you like their courage and graciousness. Tell them you like their cooking and what an honour it is for you to be their parent.

And of course, tell them, that the greatest gift you will ever have is time with them.

Merry Christmas, thanks for reading

Ian Soars

P.S – if you are struggling today or any day come and have a chat in our forum

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