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Sometimes we bite our tongues and at other times, we shake our heads in disbelief. This week I was again shocked at my ex-wife and her behaviour regarding our son’s 12th birthday.

She had informed him it was too expensive to get him an iPod touch (entry level is about £180) and she didn’t want him using social media. So he said he would like one from me if possible and we discussed it and if he was prepared to put his birthday money from aunts etc towards it we could stretch to the basic entry level.

Imagine my shock and horror when in a 7.20am call on the morning of his birthday I am told he has one from his mum…not just a basic entry level but the top of the range 64GB version! Whilst I am happy my son has the present he wanted, I am gutted that my effort are now useless and more. Importantly I will appear as the second present and of a lower standard than his first one.

So I see him after school and again go through the same painful experience as last year…his mum having got him an ideal present didn’t let him play with it before school – so he has to wait to play with it afterwards. Even the idea of me buying him a docking station for it gets dismissed as his mum says he can’t have it in his room in case he plays on it at night.

So during what was to be our time on his birthday, he is desperate to explore his new present which he can’t do until he gets home…. So our evening of a meal and present buying gets reduced to a quick walk around one shop, no tea, then me dropping him back home without a present but with cards from the family … he is happy he is now going to play with his present and I again, I am side-lined.

I sat at home that evening and re read a blog last year about my ex doing a similar thing with a 3D which saddens me that like many women in a divorce and after, she had started to use the children as a weapon manipulating them and events to ensure time with dad is bad and time with mum is better. With actions and behaviour like this going under the radar, it’s not surprising so many fathers lose contact with their children within 3 years after a divorce or separation.

The stupid thing is my son knows she is doing it and recognises it as wrong, on his birthday he said to me about his iPod, if I can take it out and I can’t use it in my bedroom why did Mum buy it for me? So he saw it as a bitter sweet present, but with his mum insisting on controlling what he can do on it and where, and having to go to her to download anything, she is starting to be seen as someone who needs control and as a father, I know my son will rebel, but it is now a matter of time….. not if ….. only when. With thirteen approaching, it could be a very rocky ride, for both him and me!


 The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of


The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of 

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