Dad dot info
DAD.info form. Ask questions, get answers

Holiday: A Moral Dilemma

<a href="http://" target="_blank">MarcThompson</a>

MarcThompson

20 Jul 2015

Holidays…that relaxing time when we forget the cares of the world and just recharge and refresh your batteries…

 

Or …

Holidays ….that stressful situation of weeks of trying to work out where to go,  what to do and how much to spend- never quite getting it right.

As a child I never had foreign family holidays. We got a week at Butlins or a week camping in Scotland, all of which created great fun memories for me. However, holidays as the non-resident parent can be a nightmare.

Why can a holiday be a reason for stress? It is the perception of what a holiday is for. I am not talking about your average school holiday during the six-week break, but that event where you take time off work to go and recharge and refresh your batteries. Should this be family time or personal time.

As a non-resident parent, do I have a cheap holiday in the sun with my partner to charge my batteries so I can perform at work and be the father I want to be to my children? Or, do I try and have a week with my children struggling to do things, go somewhere, arrange an activity club for 5 hours a day?

So a cheap week in the sun for two can be anything from £400. Could this be seen as extravagant by your ex-partner? Do you then worry about how people see you- appearing to jet off, leaving children behind? Or, are you the self-centred father who can’t afford to take his children away but can manage to go away on his own? A week away with the children it in the sun abroad or in the UK becomes expensive. It’s not as relaxing and refreshing as it could be BUT it builds memories in other ways.

What is the purpose of the holiday and does it matter what others think?

I was given advice during my divorce from my step-father which was to “think self-first”. If you are not well and whole in yourself, how can you provide for and support your children?

I am having my boys for a week in the summer holidays, but as they are away abroad with their mum, family and friends for three weeks, it doesn’t matter where I go with them as long as we have fun. So a little while ago, I booked a holiday to a nice cheap resort where we fly to in three weeks … to TUNISIA. The day after it was booked there was a massacre, and my relaxing holiday went up in smoke, not as stress free planning as I would have liked. But that’s another blog – needless to say it is sorted and this week I go away for a week in the sun …

….to rest and recharge ….

Till next week,

 

Marc

 

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of Dad.info.

Related entries

VLOG: EVOLVING FATHERHOOD ROLE AND RELATIONSHIP BONDS

VLOG: EVOLVING FATHERHOOD ROLE AND RELATIONSHIP BONDS

“I think that sometimes if you try and tighten the bonds and be more controlling – are you going to then create resentment in your children? Are you going to create a situation where they look at you and go, “don't really like what me dad's doing? I feel constricted.”...

Children’s Parties

Children’s Parties

Planning a children's party? Follow these top tips... When my son turned six last week we didn’t have a party, given our situation my ex felt it wasn’t appropriate and anyway the class hadn’t had big parties this year and we didn’t have to pay any back. It is a sad...

Latest entries

Has Lockdown Hurt Your Pre-Schooler?

Has Lockdown Hurt Your Pre-Schooler?

4-year-olds have regressed eight months during UK lockdowns. Who would have believed we could survive a year with... No school. No clubs. No childcare. No grandparents. Not even a poxy toddler group to give me much needed backup. I have spent sleepless nights worrying...

Second Child Survival Kit

Second Child Survival Kit

You had your world turned upside down by your first child. You are battle scarred, sleep deprived and now expecting number two. Your days of lazy lie-ins and freedom are distant memories, but your life is also very full with the joy your child brings. The news of...

How to help an anxious child

How to help an anxious child

The current world is an uncertain one for our kids. Lockdown has left them off school, educated by frazzled parents, separated from their friends, unable to enjoy their usual activities and in many cases struggling to sleep. Our children are aware of a threat they...

Pin It on Pinterest