Dad dot info
DAD.info form. Ask questions, get answers

Holiday: A Moral Dilemma

Holidays…that relaxing time when we forget the cares of the world and just recharge and refresh your batteries…

 

Or …

Holidays ….that stressful situation of weeks of trying to work out where to go,  what to do and how much to spend- never quite getting it right.

As a child I never had foreign family holidays. We got a week at Butlins or a week camping in Scotland, all of which created great fun memories for me. However, holidays as the non-resident parent can be a nightmare.

Why can a holiday be a reason for stress? It is the perception of what a holiday is for. I am not talking about your average school holiday during the six-week break, but that event where you take time off work to go and recharge and refresh your batteries. Should this be family time or personal time.

As a non-resident parent, do I have a cheap holiday in the sun with my partner to charge my batteries so I can perform at work and be the father I want to be to my children? Or, do I try and have a week with my children struggling to do things, go somewhere, arrange an activity club for 5 hours a day?

So a cheap week in the sun for two can be anything from £400. Could this be seen as extravagant by your ex-partner? Do you then worry about how people see you- appearing to jet off, leaving children behind? Or, are you the self-centred father who can’t afford to take his children away but can manage to go away on his own? A week away with the children it in the sun abroad or in the UK becomes expensive. It’s not as relaxing and refreshing as it could be BUT it builds memories in other ways.

What is the purpose of the holiday and does it matter what others think?

I was given advice during my divorce from my step-father which was to “think self-first”. If you are not well and whole in yourself, how can you provide for and support your children?

I am having my boys for a week in the summer holidays, but as they are away abroad with their mum, family and friends for three weeks, it doesn’t matter where I go with them as long as we have fun. So a little while ago, I booked a holiday to a nice cheap resort where we fly to in three weeks … to TUNISIA. The day after it was booked there was a massacre, and my relaxing holiday went up in smoke, not as stress free planning as I would have liked. But that’s another blog – needless to say it is sorted and this week I go away for a week in the sun …

….to rest and recharge ….

Till next week,

 

Marc

 

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of Dad.info.

Related entries

VLOG: EVOLVING FATHERHOOD ROLE AND RELATIONSHIP BONDS

VLOG: EVOLVING FATHERHOOD ROLE AND RELATIONSHIP BONDS

“I think that sometimes if you try and tighten the bonds and be more controlling – are you going to then create resentment in your children? Are you going to create a situation where they look at you and go, “don't really like what me dad's doing? I feel constricted.”...

Children’s Parties

Children’s Parties

Planning a children's party? Follow these top tips... When my son turned six last week we didn’t have a party, given our situation my ex felt it wasn’t appropriate and anyway the class hadn’t had big parties this year and we didn’t have to pay any back. It is a sad...

Latest entries

10 tips to support your child after break-up

10 tips to support your child after break-up

In 2020 Dad.info ran a survey asking 1000 separated parents about their experiences of divorce or separation and they generously shared their concerns and most importantly their tried and tested solutions. If you are looking for ways to save your children from being...

We Support The Parents Promise

We Support The Parents Promise

More couples discuss what they would do if they won the lottery than how they would co-parent their children if they separated.  87% of couples have talked about how they would spend a lottery win. Just 5% admit to having discussed potential parenting...

ASK DEBBIE- MY DAUGHTER DOESN’T WANT TO SEE ME

ASK DEBBIE- MY DAUGHTER DOESN’T WANT TO SEE ME

Dads, do you struggle sometimes? Who do you reach out to for help? Debbie Pattison, a qualified counsellor at Fegans can answer your questions. Send them in to Ask Debbie at info@dad.info and if she can she will answer. Today’s question is about problems in...

Pin It on Pinterest