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It’s that time of year again where your hand goes to pocket…no it not Christmas, its mediation time.


Another round of not being able to reach an agreement regarding contact dates and I have to pay to have a third party mediate the discussions. Whilst I agree that mediation is a great idea in many cases, I resent the fact the every time we have a disagreement it’s presented as the first port of call. Every time it is like resetting the switch and I feel that I have to prove and establish the basic points of contact. In my case it is my ex wife agreeing that I can’t always see my children on the dates I would like. She dictates because I work on a Saturday, her belief is that mid-week overnights shouldn’t happen…….

The government views mediation as a way of easing the court time taken up by divorces and encouraging parents to deal directly is a good idea, but this fails to account for people’s reluctance to make agreement due to personal histories or having an axe to grind. So I am now waiting to organise a time- which is in itself problematic, as is the location – a 60 minute drive to a suitable office in the middle of the working day  is currently being suggested, and the time lunchtime …… my ex can just pop in on her lunch!!!

I do like mediation though, as having an outsider say that you’re being reasonable does help with my self confidence about  my case, but the fact mediation isn’t binding makes a mockery of the process. Twice I have agreed stuff in mediation only to have my ex wife change her mind and then we both end up paying for court time and my point being supported by the judge.  There is no redress that my ex wife has broken both of the mediation agreements …so it ends up being a waste of time and money…but here we are again and I need to pay again, so off I go for mediation part four …….

Until next time .


The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of

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