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Power in a Smile

I wrote last week about Paul Dix (@pivatolpaul)  when dealing with behaviour management issue one of his Seven Habits of Highly Effective Behaviour Management is to ‘strip to the emotion’ when dealing with bad behaviour…

 

The flip side to this is ‘Giving a Dam’ and showing you care about that pupil.

I took some time this week to look at how I tried to adjust and modify my behaviours with my children, including some of the ‘strategies’ I had been advised to use as I have progressed down the road of fatherhood. All the effective ones have followed or embraced these habits.

Consistency has been key and the most effective behaviour.  For me, it is when coming home to my children after work. I use to be tied up at work and when coming through the door, I just wanted a cup of tea.  I changed the behaviour so I came in went straight up stairs changed and them immediately put my phone down and went to see my children, regardless of the day I had had or if I had to have words over a behaviour I smiled ad spent time playing and chatting taking interest in them.

When I reflect on this, it’s exactly the same behaviour I have with my dog – I change when she has her time – nothing but me and her playing. She knows what is happening and is happy for her time.

The same now happens in a class as I greet pupils at the door, smile and then welcome them. As a magician I have approached businessmen, celebrities and groups, I am intruding into their space, but I step into it with confidence and a smile. The shortest distance between two people is a smile. I now have the same approach when I have to pick up my children, a smile and a hug, and nothing negative in the first 10 minutes. I try to extend the same rule to my ex and her family.

Ring fencing time and having positive routines when you regularly meeting people can create a great first impression, using a smile can not only feel good and create warmth and human connection but also avoid behaviour issues.

If you want t find out more about Paul Dix and his approach check out his podcasts, www.pivotalpodcast.com or if you’re into apps the positive behaviour app on iTunes just search for pivotal education.

Fatherhood is a long road and it’s often not easy and at times any help and advice is useful. This week why don’t you have look at behaviours that work for you and see what is it that makes them work…

Till next time

 

Marc

 

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of Dad.info.

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