Dad dot info
DAD.info form. Ask questions, get answers
DAD.info | DAD BLOGS: Mrunal | CBeebies Cup Final

CBeebies Cup Final

Clare and I were talking at cross purposes.

“Oh no!  It’s on ITV,” I said talking about that afternoon’s FA Cup Final between Liverpool and Chelsea.

“No. Its’ on CBeebies,” she replied thinking I was talking about which channel the TV was currently tuned into.

This set off a surreal thought in my head. What if CBeebies did have exclusive rights to the FA Cup Final…

“And welcome to this year’s FA Cup Final, sponsored by Pampers, live from Wembley Stadium where Teletubbies Town take on In-the-Night-Garden United. The teams are well balanced and I expect a cracker of a match. It’s the TeleTubbies to kick off as their captain Tinky Winky passes the ball out wide to La-La stationed on the wing…”

25 minutes “…and the game bursts to life with a thrilling break down the middle by Dipsy who carves his way through the three man Tomliboo defence to unleash a wicked shot which is only just parried by Maka-Paka in goal.”

40 minutes “…and In-the-Night-Garden are slowly coming back into this match as their midfield general, Iggle Piggle, starts to exert his influence on the game. He releases Tomliboo Eee with a delightful reverse pass. Tomliboo Eee races into the penalty area and shapes up to shoot but…Oh no! His trousers have fallen down and the chance goes begging.”

80 minutes “still no score. And tempers are fraying as Iggle Piggle does a big sneeze and falls down. Po rushes up to the referee demanding that Iggle Piggle is booked for diving.”

90 minutes “Time is ticking away when suddenly Dipsy in the heart of the Teletubbies’ defence loses concentration as Upsy Daisy inflates her skirt and does a little dance through the middle of the park. She takes a big swing at the ball which curls into the top corner. GOAL! Upsy Daisy is swamped by her team-mates giving her hugs and kisses. Remarkable scenes here as some of the Teletubbies seem to be hugging and kissing her too…”

The final word goes to the manager of Teletubbies Town, Timmy the lamb who said, “Obviously, we are disappointed with the result but my boys came here and played their hearts out. I’m also new to the management game and you have to remember that at the end of the day I’m a little lamb with a lot to learn.”

 

Related entries

Too old for this

Too old for this

It was late on a Thursday evening and Rodger and I were walking up Upper Street in Islington, looking for a Thai restaurant. We were a little worse for wear   “You OK?” he asked looking at my awkward gait. “Yeah,” I said with that little inflection that indicated...

The big day

The big day

I could hear the rustling from the room next-door and glanced at my watch: 6:30 am. I groaned to myself but there was a certain inevitability about it   The kids bounded into our room moments later. “Is Uncle Steve here? Is he here?” They asked excitedly. “Yes,...

The big questions

The big questions

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter. As we approached our front door she looked up at me   “Daddy?” she asked in that tone of voice that all dads will recognise as a precursor to something that they’ve been pondering. “Yes?” I answered...

Latest entries

The Best Family Walks in Britain

The Best Family Walks in Britain

We could all do with exercise, fresh air and some lovely low-cost days out, not to mention some beautiful scenery. Charles Clinkard have put together a list of the 40 greatest walks for families in Britain, taking into account a number of helpful amenities such as...

How To Keep Your Child Safe Online

How To Keep Your Child Safe Online

As a parent of a 10 year old who is rapidly approaching the age where he will be getting his own phone, I’m concerned about ensuring he isn’t exposed to a cavalcade of disturbing things online. I’m worrying about bullying, about him being contacted or making friends...

Pin It on Pinterest