Dad dot info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
DAD.info | DAD BLOGS: Mrunal | Mrunal- My Father

Mrunal- My Father

The late afternoon was bathed in the warm, hazy sepia sunshine that populates memories. I was riding my newish bike around our small garden in a small circle, struggling to balance in the restricted space.


I heard my father calling from the kitchen, “Mrunal, come here.”

I dropped my bike in the yard and scampered up the stairs to the kitchen door. My father, thick set and smiling was sitting on a chair in the tiny kitchen whilst my mother made up after the evening meal.

My dad reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. After some rummaging he handed me a crumpled five pound note. “Here,” he said. “For your birthday. Go out with your mum tomorrow and buy yourself something.”

My eyes grew wide with excitement. It was the 27th September 1977, two days before my seventh birthday and five pounds was a king’s ransom. “Thanks dad!” I said and pocketing the five pound note and turned to get back to the bike in the garden.

As I turned to go, my father caught my arm. “Come here,” he said ruffling my hair. “Now you be a good boy for your mother. You look after her.” I nodded and scurried away, delighted with my good luck.

I never saw my father again.

That night, a policeman came to our door. I remember the banging in the middle of the night. I remember muffled sounds as my mum and my older brother got up and went to find out what was happening. I remember tears and hearing the words, “It can’t be true. There must be some mistake.” I remember knowing that something was wrong and asking what it was. I remember being told to go back to sleep.

My father was working the nightshift at a local factory. He had died of a massive coronary at around 2am in the morning.  I think that was probably the most important event in my whole life. The premature and shock death of my father shaped me more than anything else that has ever happened. At the tender age of six, I didn’t miss him, I didn’t know what I was losing but that absence, that loss has entered every fibre of my being. Good and bad, I wouldn’t be the man I am today had it not been for the events of the 27th September 1977.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to my four year old daughter. “Does everyone have a mummy and daddy?” she asked.

“Yes,”  I responded. “Everyone has a mummy and daddy.”

“Where is your daddy?”  she enquired, having figured out which of her grandparents was missing.

“My daddy died a long time ago.”

“Oh,” she said, taking it in. “What was your daddy like?”

“Ah,” I said, “What a good question. To tell you the truth, I’m not the best person to ask. Why don’t you ask granny next time you see her?”

When, two weeks later, granny came to visit, my daughter did just that. As they sat down to talk about my daughter’s grandfather and my mother’s husband, I could see the pride and the tears contending for position in my mum’s eyes.

Mine too. 

 

 

 

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of Dad.info.

Related entries

Too old for this

Too old for this

It was late on a Thursday evening and Rodger and I were walking up Upper Street in Islington, looking for a Thai restaurant. We were a little worse for wear   “You OK?” he asked looking at my awkward gait. “Yeah,” I said with that little inflection that indicated...

Too old for this

The big day

I could hear the rustling from the room next-door and glanced at my watch: 6:30 am. I groaned to myself but there was a certain inevitability about it   The kids bounded into our room moments later. “Is Uncle Steve here? Is he here?” They asked excitedly. “Yes,...

Too old for this

The big questions

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter. As we approached our front door she looked up at me   “Daddy?” she asked in that tone of voice that all dads will recognise as a precursor to something that they’ve been pondering. “Yes?” I answered...

Latest entries

Eating together is important- for both you and your kids

Eating together is important- for both you and your kids

As busy parents it can be tempting to shovel our food down Homer Simpson-style, while the kids watch a cartoon. With our daily lives so busy, it can feel like too much effort to sit down to eat together. However, research is coming to light that shows why eating meals...

ASK DEBBIE: DO I SPLIT UP MY KIDS?

ASK DEBBIE: DO I SPLIT UP MY KIDS?

Hi Dad, What a difficult decision for you. There are several things to consider here before making the final decision. Separating the children could impact the quality of the sibling relationship. This relationship is important and beneficial to the two children....

Prostate problems: what you need to know

Prostate problems: what you need to know

As it's Men's Mental Health Month (Movember) in November, Dad Info is focussing on awareness of men's health issues. As part of this series we are focussing on prostate problems. What is a prostate? The prostate is a small tube found only in men, surrounding the tube...

Pin It on Pinterest