Dad dot info
DAD.info form. Ask questions, get answers
DAD.info | DAD BLOGS: Mrunal | Sixty Minutes

Sixty Minutes

There is no nice way of putting this, but I inhabit a world where children die. Last week, a beautiful little girl I know aged just twelve tender years old passed away after a long illness connected to her disabilities.

When all of us become parents, few of us ever imagine that we will outlive and have to mourn our own children. However, that is the reality that all too many parents of disabled children face. At least once a year, a child we know loses the fight for life.

Sometimes it is the disability itself that leads to the death. Some children are born and their very condition means that they are likely to be life limited. Others develop complications connected with their disabilities which wear them down. Sometimes, it is something incredibly mundane and everyday that overwhelms them – infections and viruses that most children shrug off can be fatal to children whose immune systems are run down by constant medical interventions or an inability to eat normal foods.

However, the fact that the risk of your child dying is greater does nothing to dampen the loss when it finally happens.  The sense of grief, heartbreak and emptiness we all feel can at a child’s passing can but be a fraction of what their parents must experience.

Moments like this give us cause to reflect. We all know that our children are the most precious things in our lives but like most people I sometimes forget. When you’ve had a hard day and your little one is giving you hell, it is all too easy to lose your temper at them. In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it is all too easy to forget to prioritise that crucial hour a day that you promised you would spend focussed completely on your children.

However, tonight, take a moment and make sure you spend that hour with your child. Give them a big hug and remind them how much you love them. Because, somewhere, there will be a dad who wishes he could have another hour with his child, who would give everything he has to spend another precious sixty minutes laughing, playing and holding the most precious thing in his life but knows that he never will.

Related entries

Too old for this

It was late on a Thursday evening and Rodger and I were walking up Upper Street in Islington, looking for a Thai restaurant. We were a little worse for wear   “You OK?” he asked looking at my awkward gait. “Yeah,” I said with that little inflection that indicated...

The big day

I could hear the rustling from the room next-door and glanced at my watch: 6:30 am. I groaned to myself but there was a certain inevitability about it   The kids bounded into our room moments later. “Is Uncle Steve here? Is he here?” They asked excitedly. “Yes,...

The big questions

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter. As we approached our front door she looked up at me   “Daddy?” she asked in that tone of voice that all dads will recognise as a precursor to something that they’ve been pondering. “Yes?” I answered...

Latest entries

What birth rate is needed to sustain a population?

What birth rate is needed to sustain a population?

Not the most romantic of pillow talk, but while having children is a completely personal choice there is also an optimal birth rate that is needed to sustain a population. And it is 2.1 live births per mother. 2.1 for a few reasons. Sadly even with the best medical...

ASK DEBBIE – I HAVEN’T SEEN MY CHILD FOR FIVE YEARS

ASK DEBBIE – I HAVEN’T SEEN MY CHILD FOR FIVE YEARS

Dads, do you struggle sometimes? Who do you reach out to for help? Debbie Pattison, a qualified counsellor at Fegans can answer your questions. Send them in to Ask Debbie at info@dad.info and if she can she will answer. Today’s question is from a hurt dad that hasn't...

Childcare: what are the options?

Childcare: what are the options?

Modern parenthood is about striking a balance between caring for your children and earning a crust. Many families need childcare options to balance the juggle. If you don't know your nannies from your au pairs, read our guide to childcare to help you decide...

Pin It on Pinterest