Dad dot info form. Ask questions, get answers | DAD BLOGS: Mrunal | Snuffles, Sneezes, and Snot

Snuffles, Sneezes, and Snot

It’s that time of the year again. I’m not talking about Christmas because in my household no-one is allowed to even mention the Festive Season until the 1st of December. No, I’m talking about that week when the mellow tones of Autumn undeniably turn into the monochrome hues of Winter. The mercury falls like the Greek stock market and we are suddenly caught shivering. Every year, we know it is coming but every year it catches my family off guard and we launch into an all too familiar routine of cross words, carnage and colds.

The first thing that happens when the temperature falls is that my wife lunges for the thermostat and to turn it up to Havana-in-a-heatwave levels. After a few hours I realise that I am wandering around in a t-Shirt and am still sweating and then go and turn it down. It isn’t that I’m a Scrooge, rather I prefer the house to be in the more temperate climes.  My wife and I have the same argument every year:

“It’s cold outside, we need to turn the heating up,” she says.

“But it’s a thermostat. It doesn’t matter whether it’s 20 degrees outside or minus ten. The thermostat means that the heating comes on when the house falls below twenty degrees and switches it off when the house is warmer than twenty degrees,” I explain patiently and every year I really, really believe that the irrefutable weight of my logic will break through.

“But it’s cold outside so we need to turn the heating up,” she implores, looking at me as if I am an imbecile.

At this stage I normally lose it. “It’s a bloody thermostat!” I holler.

This is when she always changes tack. “The children are cold,” she’ll say like I’m some sort of monster.

And this is where I play my ace. “We’ll check the thermometers in their rooms.”

Both Arun and Meri have digital baby-monitors that also show the temperature in their rooms. All of the medical advice says that children’s rooms should be between 16 and 20 degrees at night.

We go and check and I am always right. The kids rooms are always too hot and so I get my way and get to turn the thermostat down to a less infernal setting and warm myself in my own smug glow.

This, however, is just the beginning of our cold weather problems. As sure as Winter follows Autumn, one of the kids will develop a snuffle. This year it was Arun first. Last Monday morning I noticed he was wiping his nose a little. By the afternoon, he was sneezing every fifteen minutes. By the following morning he was ill. There was snot everywhere, rapidly followed by puke.

After a couple of days of Calpol he is starting to feel better. However, soon Meri starts snuffling. Then Meri starts sneezing and then comes the snot. Snot everywhere.

When the Allied forces invaded Iraq they famously failed to find any Weapons of Mass Destruction. Well, that was because Hans Blix and Co. were looking in the wrong places. Mistakenly, they focused their efforts on underground bunkers, military bases and chemical plants. If they had just thought to look in any Iraqi nursery or primary school they would have found the most virulent and obnoxious germ factories known to humanity. Namely, our children.

Last night, as we went to bed, my wife wearing more thermal gear than Sir Ranulph Fiennes on his last polar trek, she looked at me and said, “I’ve got a bit of a sore throat. I think I’m coming down with something. None of this would have happened if you had let me turn the heating up.”

I was about to explain the thermostat to her again but thought better of it.


Related entries

Too old for this

Too old for this

It was late on a Thursday evening and Rodger and I were walking up Upper Street in Islington, looking for a Thai restaurant. We were a little worse for wear   “You OK?” he asked looking at my awkward gait. “Yeah,” I said with that little inflection that indicated...

Too old for this

The big day

I could hear the rustling from the room next-door and glanced at my watch: 6:30 am. I groaned to myself but there was a certain inevitability about it   The kids bounded into our room moments later. “Is Uncle Steve here? Is he here?” They asked excitedly. “Yes,...

Too old for this

The big questions

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter. As we approached our front door she looked up at me   “Daddy?” she asked in that tone of voice that all dads will recognise as a precursor to something that they’ve been pondering. “Yes?” I answered...

Latest entries

What to consider when choosing a primary school

What to consider when choosing a primary school

If your child turns 4 years old between 1 September 2021 and 31 August 2022 they will most likely start school in September 2022. You will need to choose and have applied for your chosen school(s) by January- so now is the time to be visiting local primaries and...

How to have a ‘good divorce’

How to have a ‘good divorce’

This week marks Good Divorce Week and Dad Info is gathering tips and information from those in the know about how to have an amicable, less painful divorce experience. In England & Wales, 42% of marriages end in divorce; that means there’s only a 1 in 2 chance...

How divorcing couples can save thousands this Christmas

How divorcing couples can save thousands this Christmas

Every day at we talk with parents who are struggling through costly court hearings. We strongly believe that mediation is a route that can take the conflict out of separation. Hands up who would like £500 towards mediation sessions? Too Late for Court...

Pin It on Pinterest