DAD.info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
DAD.info | DAD BLOGS: Mrunal | The Invisible Man

The Invisible Man

I learnt a little while back that my cousin, my oldest friend, is about to become a father for the first time. I saw him a few weeks ago and he looked calm, composed and confident. He clearly has no idea what is about to happen.

There are literally hundreds of gems of wisdom, nuggets of experience I could pass onto him but I think I did quite well in holding back. I remember when I was an expectant father, all of my mates who had got there before me would bore me for hours in the pub, on the phone, on the train, over the e-mail about the wonderful lessons they had learnt and what I should and shouldn’t do. One would tell me that swaddling was the only way to get baby to sleep, whilst another advocated rocking on Daddy’s tummy. I figure that we are all different, our children are all different and so we all have to work it out for ourselves.

However, there is one piece of advice, one tome of secret knowledge that I felt honour bound to share with Sunil: He is about to become the invisible man.

When baby is born, the whole world and their next door neighbour will swarm around you, your family and your house and no-one, I mean absolutely no-one, gives a hoot about Dad. Top of the list is, of course baby who rightly gets the starring role. Mum, then gets the best supporting actress award as everyone clucks around her and asks how “it” was. Next up come the grandparents who are enormously proud and are irrepressible on saying things like,” She’s got aunty Maude’s eyes.”

I can guarantee that at no point will anyone turn around to Dad and say, “How are you? Did you sleep well? Do your breasts feel sore?”

So, the only piece of advice I will give my cousin at this stage is: If you want to rob a bank just march into the nearest Barclays, follow the manager into the vault and take everything in sight because the day after you become a Dad you will be completely invisible. You won’t even appear on Crimewatch because even CCTV cameras can’t see a new Dad. Indeed, my sources tell me that the Northrop Grumman B2 Stealth Bomber technology is actually based on genes extracted from a bewildered man the day after his wife gave birth to his firstborn.

Unfortunately, the fact is that this invisibility doesn’t just last a few days. Even four years on, every time I talk to a mate I haven’t seen in some time the first question is,” How are the kids?”. The second question is, “How is Clare?” The third question is “Did you see the rugby / cricket/ football last week?”

Not that I’m complaining though. Because I’m a bit of a simple soul I quite like talking about rugby, football and cricket. Much easier than talking about how I am actually doing…

 

Related entries

Too old for this

Too old for this

It was late on a Thursday evening and Rodger and I were walking up Upper Street in Islington, looking for a Thai restaurant. We were a little worse for wear   “You OK?” he asked looking at my awkward gait. “Yeah,” I said with that little inflection that indicated...

Too old for this

The big day

I could hear the rustling from the room next-door and glanced at my watch: 6:30 am. I groaned to myself but there was a certain inevitability about it   The kids bounded into our room moments later. “Is Uncle Steve here? Is he here?” They asked excitedly. “Yes,...

Too old for this

The big questions

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter. As we approached our front door she looked up at me   “Daddy?” she asked in that tone of voice that all dads will recognise as a precursor to something that they’ve been pondering. “Yes?” I answered...

Latest entries

One on one time with children- the benefits

One on one time with children- the benefits

When it comes to building a deeper bond, you can't beat one on one time with children. There are a number of great benefits not only for your relationship but also for your child's wellbeing and confidence. What is one on one time? One on one time is time devoted to...

Parents call for smartphones ban for under 16s

Parents call for smartphones ban for under 16s

MPs are being pushed to consider a smartphones ban under 16s following a number of tragic deaths. The mother of murdered teenager Brianna Ghey, who was killed by two 15 year olds, has asked for both Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer to consider measures to stop children...

How to help children with anxiety

How to help children with anxiety

It can be tricky to know how to help children with anxiety problems- as parents it's difficult to know what to say or do for the best. However, there are a number of tools that you can guide your child to use to fell better, and draw upon to regulate their emotions...

Pin It on Pinterest