Dad dot info
DAD.info form. Ask questions, get answers
DAD.info | DAD BLOGS: Mrunal | Who’s in charge?

Who’s in charge?

I was along the street with my two children, Arun 6 and Meri 4, having just collected the younger one from nursery.

She was proudly clutching a plastic cup with some compost in it. Buried somewhere inside was a sunflower seed: a new project from nursery.

“So Meri,” I said. “This is going to be lots of fun. You can grow your own sunflower from a seed.”

She nodded happily.

“If you want you can plant it into a bigger pot tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to put it in a bigger pot,” she said.

“That’s OK,” I replied. “You can do what you want with it. You’ve got to look after it. You’re in charge.”

She looked worried. “But I don’t want to be in charge! I don’t like being in charge!” She protested. “I like it when you’re in charge!”

I turned to my son. “Arun, who do like being in-charge?”

“Daddy!” he replied emphatically.

Well, one part of me was delighted to have such unwavering devotion and discipline from my little family. Another part of me was a little worried. Surely growing up is about being independent, taking responsibility for situations and for the consequences of your own decisions. I don’t want to be a domineering father who stifles the development of his children, however well intentioned. It’s no coincidence that many of the great leaders of our generation lost their fathers when young and found themselves having to take charge. I shrugged it off; after all I needn’t worry too much. They’re only 4 and 6. They’ve got plenty of time to cast off the paternal yoke and emerge into their own lives.

I sensed an opportunity for some mischief. “Who’s in charge more? Mummy or daddy?”

Both of my darling children replied “Daddy!”

“Isn’t mummy in charge?” I pressed.

“No daddy’s in charge.” The right answer.

Later that week I was speaking to my wife. “Our kids are pretty smart,” I said. “They know who’s in charge.”

“Oh?” Clare asked, looking up from her newspaper.

“Me, of course.”

“You just keep thinking that,” she replied turning the page. “That’s exactly what I want you to think.”

 

 

 

 

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the blogger and do not necessarily represent the views of Dad.info.

 

Related entries

Too old for this

It was late on a Thursday evening and Rodger and I were walking up Upper Street in Islington, looking for a Thai restaurant. We were a little worse for wear   “You OK?” he asked looking at my awkward gait. “Yeah,” I said with that little inflection that indicated...

The big day

I could hear the rustling from the room next-door and glanced at my watch: 6:30 am. I groaned to myself but there was a certain inevitability about it   The kids bounded into our room moments later. “Is Uncle Steve here? Is he here?” They asked excitedly. “Yes,...

The big questions

I was walking home from school with my five year old daughter. As we approached our front door she looked up at me   “Daddy?” she asked in that tone of voice that all dads will recognise as a precursor to something that they’ve been pondering. “Yes?” I answered...

Latest entries

What birth rate is needed to sustain a population?

What birth rate is needed to sustain a population?

Not the most romantic of pillow talk, but while having children is a completely personal choice there is also an optimal birth rate that is needed to sustain a population. And it is 2.1 live births per mother. 2.1 for a few reasons. Sadly even with the best medical...

ASK DEBBIE – I HAVEN’T SEEN MY CHILD FOR FIVE YEARS

ASK DEBBIE – I HAVEN’T SEEN MY CHILD FOR FIVE YEARS

Dads, do you struggle sometimes? Who do you reach out to for help? Debbie Pattison, a qualified counsellor at Fegans can answer your questions. Send them in to Ask Debbie at info@dad.info and if she can she will answer. Today’s question is from a hurt dad that hasn't...

Childcare: what are the options?

Childcare: what are the options?

Modern parenthood is about striking a balance between caring for your children and earning a crust. Many families need childcare options to balance the juggle. If you don't know your nannies from your au pairs, read our guide to childcare to help you decide...

Pin It on Pinterest