Dad dot info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
DAD.info | Opinion | How to Talk to Children about the Invasion of Ukraine

How to Talk to Children about the Invasion of Ukraine

Images of fathers leaving their families to stay behind. Videos of explosions. Photographs of children harmed. How should we talk about the Ukraine crisis with our children?   

Our Fegans counsellors provide some suggestions below for engaging in conversations about the situation in Ukraine.

Three reasons to talk to children about the war in Ukraine 

  1. To help children process difficult emotions that may arise. Having a supportive discussion about a stressful event can decrease distress. In other words, it’s always best to address ‘the elephant in the room’. Having these conversations provides you with the opportunity to help your child make sense of how they might be feeling and to provide reassurance. 
  1. To combat misinformation. Children and teens will already have seen or read about the invasion of Ukraine. If that information is from TikTok and Snapchat, then they have probably seen misinformation. Your job is to keep children informed about the war based on reliable information from reputable sources, and to provide opportunities for children to ask questions. 
  1. To encourage compassionate views towards others. Talking to children about the war in Ukraine can encourage compassion. This is an opportunity to understand the emotions of others. Try asking your children “what might someone else in this situation be feeling right now?” 

Conversations with children under the age of five 

If your child asks you a question about what is happening, provide them with simple information and avoid providing more detail than requested. 

For example, you could say “one country is not being very nice to another country and it is making people feel upset.”  

For children of all ages, it’s important to monitor their exposure to news and media, especially violent content. Also, minimise what young children overhear of adult conversations. 

Conversations with school-aged children and teenagers 

First, make sure that you are feeling calm enough to have the discussion. If you are feeling upset, tired or anxious, it is best to give yourself some time before initiating the conversation.  

Start by asking your child what they have heard about the conflict in Ukraine.  

Next, validate and normalise how they are feeling. If they say it’s distressing for them, you can say: “It can be scary to think about a war; most kids and adults feel scared too.” If your child does not know very much or does not seem to be very concerned about what is happening, just keep the discussion brief. 

Talking about the distance between the UK and ongoing fighting can be helpful. It’s a fact that wars are happening across the globe and have been ongoing throughout your child’s life. Tweens may want to watch Newsround which explains events clearly and in an age-appropriate way. You could even sit and watch it together and then have a discussion about what you’ve heard. 

Choose age-appropriate news sources

Regardless of whether they are distressed or not, you can share some factual age-appropriate information. Teenagers’ brains are wired to find out things for themselves, rather than be told, so direct them to reliable information sources. 

Most importantly, children need reassurance that adults will do everything they can to keep them safe.  

By talking, you show your child that you are willing and open to having discussions, even when times are tough. This can help build a lasting foundation to talk about difficult topics. 

The Information Age

Our children are not the first generation of children to grow up with wars. What is new is how this generation of young people are accessing and consuming news. It is therefore vital for children to be adequately informed and reassured by the adults they trust, and to be provided with opportunities to make sense of how they might be feeling as distressing events unfold. 

Related entries

What is life? How did it start? Why did it begin?

What is life? How did it start? Why did it begin?

Creative dad Idan Ben-Barak, author of Do Not Lick This Book and the brand new We Go Way Back, fits creative writing around raising his kids and a full-time job. Inspired, we had him in for a chat at Dad.info HQ. We Go Way Back published by Allen & Unwin...

Dad.info LIVE | chatting about being a dad to a newborn

Dad.info LIVE | chatting about being a dad to a newborn

Ian Soars, MD of Dad.info has been talking about nipples, hormones and post-natal depression with Kieran Anders Dad Matters Project Manager. Tune in and learn why dads matter to mums, to babies and to everyone. Top tips on accessing support, and learn just how...

Latest entries

Teens are vaping. Is it safe?

Teens are vaping. Is it safe?

Teens have always found ways to flex their independence and rebel- it was normal, years ago, for youths to share cigarettes behind the bike sheds. These days, however, many teenagers have taken to vaping. It may seem like a harmless vice, with the variety of fruity...

Ask Debbie: I wish I had a better bond with my son

Ask Debbie: I wish I had a better bond with my son

Dear Sad Dad, I really feel for you here. It's hard when you are working and don’t feel that you are around as much as you would like to be- and then feel that you don’t have a close relationship with your child. You can build a positive parent-child relationship with...

Great Places To Take Your Toddler

Great Places To Take Your Toddler

Chris and his son By Chris at Dadology Toddlers are great. They're fun to be around; they're curious about literally everything (especially the stuff they can't have), and they're always up for exploring, which in turn makes you explore too. But when you have a...

Pin It on Pinterest