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Just more of a vent/information
Hi all.
My girlfriend of 9 years and the mother of my 2 year old told me today that she doesnt love me anymore.
She told me its because I shout at her a lot.
Now I dont disagree to that, I actually do. But its because of frustration.
Ive tried to explain to her multiple times, that i shout because im not being heard and she doesnt listen.
Some of the reasons:
She questions everything I say and do. Its annoying as [censored].
If i dont reply to her (her saying my name or something) within 3 seconds, she gets all "urgh fine I'll do it, dont need you anymore"
Ill ask her to do something nicely, I.E. She left the car door wide open and a car was trying to park next to us which he was blocking the road so I said, close the door, someone's trying to park. And she says "Well he can wait, we are parked and im doing something (the something was looking in the glovebox)" so i shouted CLOSE THE DOOR.
Shes claiming im abusive..
Idk what to say or do.
Thanks for being open about what's been happening. It takes a level of self-awareness to admit when things are difficult, and it is important to recognise the impact that shouting and anger can have, especially on children.
You might find it helpful to speak to Respect on 0808 802 4040. They support men who want to make changes in how they manage conflict and emotions in their relationships.
You may also want to look at our Healthy Relationships Wheel, which can help you reflect on what respectful, balanced relationships look like:
spurgeons.org/resources-and-courses/resources/healthy-relationships-wheel
We have also gathered other useful links and resources on domestic abuse and behaviour change here:
spurgeons.org/resources-and-courses/resources/domestic-abuse/domestic-abuse-useful-links
If anyone else has experience of working on this kind of change, or wants to offer some encouragement, please do jump in.
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