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4 months into seperation and moving out, ex just messaged me saying that she will be sending papers to change our child's last name to hers.
She is maybe tryingg to be spiteful but she has not given me a reason why, she ignored that question and has not responded to me since(its been a week now). She found out she will be receiving a lower amount through CMS which she applied for than what I have offered her(double the amount) and this all came after that and I am convinced she will do all possible to be spiteful.
I have seen our child every other weekend whilst we settled our new seperate lives without any court order in place yet or agreement but she has ignored even my arrangement for next visitation.
Is there anything I can do beforehand to ensure she does not waste her time or money applying BECAUSE I WILL NOT agree to it one bit! I suggested to talk it through, she has ignored to respond to that suggestion also and she has finincial backing of parents to take me through the legal system.
I would be willing to add her last name but never removing mine. I am on the birth certificate which I signed since day 1 and I have been around the baby every single day since birth for the last 1.5 yrs until we split and moved away from each other.
Hello keyseroze88 thanks for posting, it sounds like you are really working hard to be a great dad, and we know it isn't easy. Hoping you'll get lots of support here from dads/our parent support volunteers.
Just a couple of thoughts from me.
Have you contacted a mediator? We have seen this work for lots of families. You can find a good local one through National Family Mediation Service | We Help Families In Conflict | 0300 4000 636 and there is a £500 voucher you can get free which you might be eligible for.
Also, and if you can find the time we have a free parenting course - Parenting After Separation course | Separated parents course
You can do it alone, or perhaps when things are calmer you could tell your partner about it, either way it can help you take some time for yourself. It is all online.
Keep posting and hoping things get a bit easier. All best, N
The process for changing a child's name is explained on the www.gov.uk website. It can only be done with the consent of everyone with parental responsibility. She can apply for a court order to make the change but you can self represent to object to this.
Hi keysersoze88, I am sorry to hear about the challenges which you are currently experiencing. Please take time to keep looking after yourself, and if you are able to reach out to family and friends.
I also encourage you not to give up on seeking time with your child. To the extent that you are able, I would encourage you to focus your energies on coming to an agreement about how you will be able to do this going forwards.
Changing a childs name is not something the courts take lightly. as mentioned earlier by NellGC, your first port of call should be mediation. hopefully you can resolve the issues. if not, as a last resort you can apply to family court for a solution to all issues. feel free to get in touch if you need advice. dropping you a private message.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
