Hi,
I am co-parenting with a narcissist ex-wife. Despite being supporting and flexible with contacts I have been punished regularly.
So far my child was used as a tool to reconcile but now he is used as a tool to punish me because I have moved on in my life.
My ex-wife has filed a case in court to review the contact and trying to fabricate stories, she is polluting my child mind against me and my partner. Telling him a lot a false stories every time.
Today my child told me that when he called him few times last week but I wasn’t able to answer his phone calls. Mum told him that his dad don’t like him and enjoying time with his new partner instead. She made him write that in his note book and told him that it will help him.
She cleverly playing a game from a while as she introduced a notebook to him and told him to write things in it and when notebook is finished they will publish a book. Sadly I only got to know the real purpose today. Poor kid don’t know that she asking playing a dirty trick with him to take him away from his dad.
In reality my boy love spending time with me and he is very happy to stay with me and my partner. He isn’t at the age where court will listen what he want.
I’m worried that she will use those notes in court against me.
Can anyone please suggest me what I can do?
Thanks
I can see a situation where the notebook would actually go against your ex, it's pretty good evidence of parental alienation as he's only writing entries in there when he's with her, and especially if cafcass speak to him and he tells them that his mum makes him write the entries.
Thanks for your reply. I was extremely worried and was thinking about my child. He was deliberately first made emotional and then made to write something which he might regret for his life if it went against me and she managed to isolate him from his father.
hi,
try not to worry. Courts social workers (cafcass) state that they are trained to spot parental alienation. so if your going through court and cafcass get involved, they will interview your child. They made my kids draw and write, and ask them questions about daddy.
I agree with act that usually those kinds of evidence end up back-firing on the parent that makes the claims. in my case ex used whatsapp messages, video recording. all that ended up making her look unreasonable and hostile.
I found social services we useless when I was dealing with an ex poisoning children’s minds against me . The court later appointed a guardian and they got to the bottom
Of what was going on .. maybe look into that
Exactly the same with me. I haven’t seen my kids for 17 months god knows what brainwashing she’s doing against me. A bad mother is equivalent to 1000 bad fathers. My ex was one of them....
I had custody of my daughters - my ex was a nightmare as a result of which my daughters didn't want anything to do with her. They knew how I felt about her, but I always stressed that it was my views, and what contact they had was entirely up to them. Dispite this, and every contact they had, the mother doing a good job of ruining the situation herself, my kids did still sometimes try to have meaningful contact with her, and if she'd not been so idiotic to ruin it, there actually would have been a meaningful relationship.
What I'm driving at is that when your kids are older, they will start to think for themselves, and if you focus on your relationship with them when that happens, and don't revisit the past, there is always hope that you can pick up in the future, and once they then realise that, actually, they missed out on having a good dad when they were young, you may have an even stonger relationship with them in the future.
Hello, Thank you for sharing. Due to circumstances you aren’t able to be with your son all the time, but I would suggest you make the time you do spend with him as precious as you can. Why not get a new notebook that you and him do together and encourage him to write things in it that he loves about both you and his mum? and also any good things that have happened for both of you during the week? Or plan ahead some one to one time activities that you and him can do together for him to look forward too? I appreciate and understand it must be difficult for you to hear the things that your son has had to face, but it will be hard for him too as I suspect he loves you both very much. By making the time you have with him as settled and as positive as possible then it will reassure him and he will feel secure. Focus on what you can control and be encouraged that your son loves you and wants you to be dad to him. All the best, Fegans PSV