Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Sorry. I know I sound frustrated. I just am. Feel trapped.
It’s completely understandable to feel frustrated in this situation. Supervised contact can be difficult, particularly when you want to be more involved in your child’s life. That said, if that's all you are being offered then, if you can, do take it. Your presence still makes a real difference. Turning up consistently, even in a limited capacity, shows your commitment and care. You are not alone. Many fathers have faced similar challenges and found ways to stay connected. I hope some of them may come on here now and support you.
I hope so too.
I just don't understand how things like this can be allowed to happen. It makes me want to just stop trying. I don't want to be around her abuse. I just want to see my boy.
hi, if mediation has been exhausted, last resort is to apply to court. if you need help, feel free to get in touch. sending you private message.
@dadmod2 thank you. I appreciate all the replies.
How do I know if mediation is exhausted? I thought the idea of it was to negotiate, but I feel like I don't have a choice and I'm just being told what to do
@rwhelp if you can't or don't agree to her demands or proposals, you can ask mediator to end mediation and give you permission to apply to court.
@dadmod2 would that count against me, as I'd be the one stopping the mediation? I know it's maybe not that black and white, but everything you read basically says whoever doesnt mediate is the bad guy.
@rwhelp mediation is still considered voluntary. courts like parents to make an attempt at it first, to steer them away and try resolve issues. if they can't agree at that stage, then they take it to court.
@dadmod2
Thank you. Just struggling to get my head round it.
She told the mediator that I just leave my son sat in his chair all day, don't feed or change him. All lies. But the mediator told her if we go to court then I'll be investigated, just spurred her on. It just feels so lopsided. Unless I'm missing the point, and being investigated gives me chance to prove otherwise. But it didn't sound that way. She can say whatever and Is taken as true. Is the whole system still this stacked against dad's?
@rwhelp I re-read your original post. if its thr case she is restricting access because your partner and her child moved in, then thats very petty and unreasonable. your choice is accept the situation as it is, otherwise apply to court to get decent arrangements in place. you should be able to have child friday-sunday, every other weekend as a bare minimum. lot of dads also seek half of school holidays and mid week contact. courts usually grant it if theres no safeguarding concerns and child started nursery/primary school.
@dadmod2 thank you. Actually just my child from previous relationship moved in. My ex (of the 1 yo) wants to be there when the 5 yo and the 1 yo meet, she flat out refuses to let them meet unless she's there. But I don't want her around my 5 yo, at all.
Sorry, I know I keep going off in different directions. Thank you for the advice and sanity
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
