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Hey everyone,
I’m a dad going through a brutal custody and relocation case, and I’m doing it without a lawyer. I could really use some advice or stories from other fathers who’ve been through anything similar.
Here’s what happened:
A few months ago, my ex moved out of state — without a clear plan — and left our three young kids with me. No discussion about parenting schedules, no agreement, nothing. Since then, I’ve been their full-time caregiver. I take them to school, handle doctor visits, cook, do homework, everything. She’s had only 3 overnights total since she left.
Now she’s filed a motion to relocate the kids permanently to where she moved. And in court, her argument is that I already gave her consent to relocate and then changed my mind — like I’m unstable or indecisive. But that’s not true. I never gave written or official consent. She just moved and is trying to make it a “fait accompli.”
From what I can tell, her strategy is to:
Make it look like I agreed, then backed out
Take the kids full-time so she can seek full custody and maximize child support
Show she’s “established” in the new state even though she left a better-paying job and didn’t set anything up before leaving
Meanwhile, I’ve been managing everything — including trying to fix the insurance issues she left, and keeping the kids’ school and church routines stable. I even signed a temporary MOU for a short visit so the kids could see her. I’ve tried to be fair and child-focused. But now I feel like I’m being played.
I haven’t proposed a 50/50 custody plan yet — right now I’m just trying to stop the relocation. But I’m also realistic and thinking about next steps if the court grants it.
If you’ve been through something like this — sudden relocation, being blamed for “changing your mind,” court manipulation — I’d really appreciate hearing how you handled it. Did anyone fight this and win? Or at least protect your relationship with your kids long-term?
This is honestly exhausting. I just want to keep being their dad and not lose everything because of paperwork and positioning. Thanks in advance for any advice or real stories.
hi,
no experience personally, but if you have been the main carer for kids for several months, then it's likely the courts will not change anything so they can remain stable. you can demonstrate all the efforts you have taken to care for them by yoursel, and hopefully it all goes in your favour. The problem now is theres a risk that the next time their mother sees them, she may not return them to you, in a bid to gain custody. so may want to consider some protective measures.
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