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[Solved] Step-Dad soon to be Dad

New Member Registered

New to the forum and my first post. Thank you in advance for any and all support.

I'm a step-dad to my partners two young sons and soon to be a father to my own baby. My partners two sons call me Tony, not Dad or Step-Dad, as their father is still very much involved in their lives and it's right that they don't call me Dad. My concern is that as my baby grows up, he/she may begin calling me Tony and not Daddy. Apologies if this is coming across as a trivial matter but one that's on my mind increasingly more-so as the time of birth approaches.

Topic starter Posted : 29/01/2021 12:22 pm
Reputable Member Registered

I wouldn't worry. It is your child and it will know your'e their daddy and like every other parent, you will be teaching them to call you mummy and daddy. As they get older, they might ask why the others call you by your name. I think you will be fine 🙂

Posted : 29/01/2021 1:53 pm
New Member Registered

Thank you for that reassurance.

Topic starter Posted : 29/01/2021 2:33 pm
Honorable Member Registered

Hi Ant

I'd agree, don't worry too much about it... Also if you are called your first name by your child, remember it's not the end of the world, as your child gets older you can teach them etc..

You will be focused on so many other things good and challenging that you will take this in your stride...

All the best..

Posted : 29/01/2021 11:26 pm
Estimable Member Registered


I'm in a similar position, though I am a step mum to my partner's daughter (7years old). She has always called me by my name (I've been in her life for 6 years) and I've had my first baby. When she speaks to the baby I feel as though she should refer to me as mum (for the baby's sake) but when she is talking to me or anyone else she should refer to me by my name.
For example if she is playing around with the baby asking 'where's dad? There he is' ... she should say 'wheres your mum, there she is'
In all other circumstances she should just call me by my name and I expect my child to call me mum but I'm certain my child will call me by my name at times! I'll just have to correct my child and the kids will grow up understanding my step daughter will call me by my name and my kid/s will call me 'mum'. But I don't think you (or I) have to worry about it, I think it will become more natural as they grow up!

However, I have come across another problem.... (Sorry to jump on the post)
Like you, I feel step children should call you by your name as opposed to the parental title especially if the parent has an active role in the child/rens life. However since having the baby, my step daughter has started to call me mum, not all the time but sometimes and as time has gone on she has increasingly done so.
I'm not entirely sure if anyone else has come across this and if it's a normal thing?

I think this has stemed from her mums household. Her mum introduced her bf to her as her new dad and then when she had a baby, she told her daughter to call her mums bf 'dad' to feel part of the family as she didn't want her daughter calling her partner by his name and the baby being able to call him dad so she told her daughter to call her partner dad.

So I think now we've had a baby she is doing the same in our households. As I said it's not all the time but it is increasing and I've corrected her many times but she says that's what she wants to call me now. She says 'im allowed to call (her mums partner) dad so why can't I call you mum?

I know my partner (her actual dad) was quite hurt when he found out she calls her mums bf 'dad' especially as the mum did not run this by him and obviously he finds it difficult that his child is calling someone else dad.

So any thoughts on my position?

Posted : 04/02/2021 5:09 pm
Estimable Member Registered

God is great

Biological bond is mighty you won't have any worrys and you will see yourself in the baby and vise versa

Posted : 05/02/2021 6:02 pm

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