[Solved] Advice please

I can't believe that this is how your ex is disciplining your daughter, it's so wrong to use not seeing you as a punishment.

It's your daughters right to see you and stopping that will damage your relationship.

I can't see it even working as she is likely to just rebel more towards her mother.

I'd say allowing her to come and see you but you and her mum working together would work better, so discuss how you will discipline her and follow through in which ever house she is in, this will show unity and that she can't get away with misbehaving.

As for how to discipline that's going to have to be worked out between you, you will know what pushes her buttons and what will get the reaction needed to stop her misbehaving.

I do think the key though is to work together so she sees that the 2 of you will react in the same way.

Hope this helps

Darren

Even in mediation she would'nt back down on our daughter being part of the ex-tended family or not using stopping our daughter seeing me when she mis-behaves. Because i have no PR in her eyes i have no say on things at all. she says i dont support when our daughter mis-behaves. but how can i when i cant even see or speak to our daughter for anything up to fours weeks plus. I don't think its right pulling our daughter up a month after the incident. And when i do have my daughter when she has mis-behaved i have in the past sat our daughter down and told her off (But according to her mum i never have, yet how does she know when shes not there) Something must of sunk in for the mediation about her involving me more, but i think shes trying to do it in an arkward way. She text me today saying you wanted parental Responsibilitities heres ur chance. Our daughter has an appointment next monday for a check at half eleven heres ur chance to take her and to any others. also asked for my work number so if out goes on at school the school can get me to deal with it. Bearing in mind she doesnt work. yet i do but she still expect me to take time off every time theres an appointment or when theres a problem at school. I cud under stand if she asked me to help out when i can, even more so if she was working. And i cant see work going for it when the mother doesnt work and is able to do it herself. So to show i was serious about playing appart i gave my work number only to use when really need me (like when they cant get hold of her.) and said i get back to her about the appointment, cause i've already had time off for mediation they may not allow it. And i dont wanna get sacked for it. so she ended up texting back "sorry u want the parental responsibilites u will need to deal with our daughter as and when is. Not my problem if u get sacked. I've had to do it for many years with no thanks from him." What she meant on the last bit havent got a clue but to me it sounds like shes doing anything to be awkward and when i cant do things she make out im a waste of space who does nowt What do u think?

It seems to me that you need to be applying to the court for a contact order and PR, you can do both at the same time. I cannot see that a court would agree to your ex withholding contact as a means of discipline - in fact I think they would take quite a dim view. Your ex also seems to be expecting you to take all responsibility, or at least at her convenience. I'm not familiar with the mediation process, but if it seems to be achieving nothing, I assume there is a way to say this and to state that you feel there is not sensible alternative but to proceed to court - it may even make your ex reconsider.