[Solved] Any Other Dad's who have ADHD kids?

Hi Steve and welcome to the site 😀

You sound like you have your hands full,3 kids of 9,5 and almost a year are hard work anyway but with ADHD I understand your need for a rest, forgive my ignorance but what is sibling ADHD ?

None of my kids had this problem but there will always be "friends" that do not agree with the way you bring your kids up or approve with their behaviour - I have learnt through experience that they are not necessarily the friends that one would like to have long term anyway.

Is Liam on medication ? Do you find this effective if he is ? What other routes have you tried ?

Tell us more about how you (and Claire) cope with everyday living

Come back soon

Mags

Hi Mags.

Well..............

sibling adhd is where the sibling will see how the child with ADHD behaves and thinks this is normal behaviour so they tend to copy and follow down the same line.

Liam is on medication yes, but the medication he is on now is finally working as it should do.

We sometimes have issues where Liam will make high pitched screeching noises in the morning and will often bully his younger brother, but he won't harm his baby brother I might add.

Someone suggested we get a puppy as that might help him calm down and so on, and funnily enough, we have noticed a change in his bahaviour since she turned up.
we went out and spent £150 on getting a staffy [censored], (I know what alot of people think, dangerous dogs, but it's the way they're brought up, if they brought up properly, they won't be violent. all about being responsible).

Claire and I have been married for 8 years and are both 30 this year. We have our up's and down's, but that's not just to the fact that Liam has been hard work.

I have been out of work 7 yars myself now and am fed up of sitting around doing nothing with my life, although I have done a number of years of voluntary work I no longer work for agencies, they are a waste of space, so I am going solo as clixon photography.

I have found that when I go out doing my photography, I take Liam with me and have noticed how much he loves the same thing as me, an eye for a photo.

he has his own digital camera and will come with me to certain events and day trips and his work, for a 9 year old is rather good, sometimes better than mine!

Claire has just gotten over a long term illness and is slowly getting better, she had a bad period of self harm and anxiety making her agorophobic, thus me being her carer for such a long time too.
I have brought my kids up in a different way to our fathers, as my FIL was a brunken abusive Wifebeater and my father, I got on better with in the latter days until he passed away only 5 years ago on thursday.

although I have found things hard in life to deal with, I find it easier to share my thoughs with other parents on forums or chat rooms before, sometimes being too trusting was my down full as you never really know the person you are talking to.

After reading through the forums today, I can see this is a good place to be!

Hi Steve ( again !!)

So you have a puppy as well , are you mad 😉

Liam obviously has a caring side as he leaves his baby brother alone, I have a cousin who is severely autistic and has very little communication with the world outside of his own. yet he is very protective of his siblings. Isn't it strange how the brain works, the bigger issues are too much but the details are processed with no issues (hence the love of photography)

I had a good friend who told me that although we are part of our parents, it doesn't make us our parents, you do what is necessary for your kids - if that means breaking the cycle then so be it.

it's good that you are able to talk to someone, it's sounds like you have a lot of stresses in your life.

I agree with you this is a good place, we try and offer advice and hope but with a touch of realism.

Mags

although I have found things hard in life to deal with, I find it easier to share my thoughs with other parents on forums or chat rooms before, sometimes being too trusting was my down full as you never really know the person you are talking to.

After reading through the forums today, I can see this is a good place to be!

Hi Steve,

What a great set of posts mate. ADHD is one of those conditions that those of us who don't have to deal with it on a daily basis don't really understand. It will be good to have someone on here who can enlighten us who are in the dark.

Looking forward to your posts mate.

hi normal4norfolk,

sorry I never replied until now, I, sorry, we have have so much going on with L and his behaviour that it's been hard for me to get on.

I am trying to get my photography business off the ground too.

my wife and I split up for a short term in august, I went to stay with a friend down in eastbourne for a while, before we realised we were meant to be together and missed eachother like crazy.

L has been getting into a fair bit of bother since my last post on this subject.
he has had three quarters of the county police force (and the helicopter too, I might add) search for a boy who he was adamant he saw crossing the railway line and get struck by a train.

the line is used by a commuter train once every two hours so there was no way at that time, a child would have been hit.
he constantly lies now and we never know what is the truth anymore.

he is 10, and will ge going to secondary school next year, yet he has the mental age of a 6 year old and the physical age of a 4 year old according to the occupational therapy reports.

we think he is nowhere near ready for secondary, there is a school for kids sen (special education needs) and disabilities, but he doesn't match the criteria. his adhd comes 5th on the list, and he doesn't have a statement for sen either.

therefore we have no choice but to just let him go to that school, no doubt about it.
he has no friends here at school at the moment, well, he calls them friends, but if they aren't stealing his stuff or throwing it in the beck, like they did with his new bike, then what are they?

I don't know what to do at the moment,

I have just posted on another location in this forum about issues like this as it's getting me rather down at the moment too.

steve

Hi Clixon2010

Wow what a handful! You hear so many stories about dads pulling out when the going gets tough so I totally take my hat off to you for sticking in there and doing what sounds like a great job supporting everyone. I struggle so much being patience and flexible and I only have to boys to handle. I think that you must have the patience of a saint my friend. Great to hear that true love conquer over your trial separation too. I love a good love story ( yes I am def a male!!)

Have you and the Mrs spoken to anyone at your local ADHD support group, imagine you must have one. Also you should try calling Contact A Familywho have a free phone number and see if they have any advice too

Here are a couple of things they wrote for DadTalk a while back
Article 1
Article 2

Hi

Posted a bit of information on the other thread, hope it helps.

So you have a puppy as well , are you mad 😉

unfortunately, in august this year, my wife and I had a bad turn and I was convinced I wasn't coming back to her. I ended up down in eastbourne and that break away made me realise how much I love my wife and kids.

my wife couldn't cope with three kids and a staffy [censored] so she gave her up, (I never even got to say goodbye 😥 )

I came back a week later and we are stronger than evem not just for the kids sake, but for our sake too.

steve

thanks everyone for your help and support,

it's guys like you that make me feel like I should really be with my kids.

even though L can be a little sod at times, I will always love him.

what's more, my wife has been going mad for a new christmas present and this time, we are going to make sure it stays with us.......NO IT'S NOT A DOG! lol,

I got her a kitty. the kids love it already and Liam has taken so much of a shine to him that he's actually calm! I am shocked!

🙂

I got two kids, a 16 and 13 year old both boys. My 13 year old is the one who has adhd and mild autism, he got diagnosed when he was 5 years old. Ever since he was officially diagnosed everything changed. I am a single dad and so I find it hard to balance work and taking care of my special child. When he started school, thats was when the major crisis occurred because of his behavior he was often sent to the principals office. When he was kicked out, I didn't what to do but a friend told me that i should consider an alternative school for my son because its where his needs will be met and there will be trained professionals who knows how to deal with such children.

Hey Steve,

Just been reading your posts, sounds like life can be tough sometimes. And coming from Darlington myself, I know what a place it can be!

I dont really have any experience of children with ADHD but just wanted to say it sounds like you're doing a good job