[Solved] Being consistent with discipline

We are more or less consistent with what we do in terms of discipline, although we often seem to end up doing a case of good cop, bad cop. Seems to work well most of the time, for now anyway......

I must admit I do struggle with consistency between my 3pm attitude and my 3am attitude !!

Anyone got any suggestions about handling early hours discipline?

ahhhh - yes tricky... I enjoy doing a bathtime, but I'm very tired at the end of the day - and if I'm not careful it can degenerate into something none of us is enjoying 😥

My main thing, is not to back yourself into a corner... This is v. v. hard because often the first thing out of your mouth when you are stressed is often the more servre punishment..

One thing we (my wife and I) do hold very stongly is our word, and what we say, we will do. But this is one of the things that I find trickiest in the early morning hours. As you say, don't back yourself into a corner.

Is it worth saying "I'll deal with it in the morning" when you've got more of a rational (gracious) hat on, or should you deal with it straight away? I know for younger kids it's sometimes difficult to understand if the discpline occurs too far after the event.

Sometimes we do just let things slide depending on their mood. If they are v. tired then we do not do much discipline as it does not usually have much effect and then just leads to escalation of punishments and them defying. Much easier just to say not talking to you and leave them to it, as long as it does not destroy the house.

last year the boy (5) was at the dinner table and having a tantrum and was threating to drop the plate and break it, so we both said do it if you wish but you will lose all ice-cream and cake for dessert for 6 weeks. He did break it and lost his cake and ice-cream and we reminded him about it nearly every day for the 6 weeks. He has never done it again although has tipped over his plate etc. have found cause and effect to be a very good form of discipline, providing you do see it through and it is proportional. Since that he says that I told him he could break the plate, therefore my fault 😕 Taking it literally, I suppose I did 😉

how do you keep up the discipline when you only have your children a couple of days a week and what discipline you give them only gets undone when they go back home to their mother can someone please help me out with this one. 😥

Really difficult one... kids have a way of using it against you that its not like that at mums...

Is your relationship with their mum in a place that you could discuss the key things that you feel she undermines? It will no doubt be a negotiation and you will have to conceed things as well as her. Beyond that and agreeing similar rules for both houses, I think you just have to be clear on the rules of your house and stick to them.

It might be worth reviewing the rules to make sure they are not too tough (cos i know as a dad sometimes i can go over the top in terms of what i've expected of my kids in terms of chores and keeping their rooms tidy etc). However, to my own mind discipline is part of love and we as dads need to help our kids understand what is, and what is not 'ok' in terms of behaviour...

I also found the advice in the discipline 101 article on the toolbox helpful - http://www.dadtalk.co.uk/articles/discipline_101.php