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I have been divorced for nearly one year now after my wife had an affair ,we tried counseling for 18 months she did not change her behavior and I left
We have two beautiful daughters age 5 and 11 who is residing with the my ex in our family home .
It was agreed that I see my children every second weekend ,this when well with only a couple of small hiccups where ex makes it difficult to see them nothing major
This all changed when I stopped paying for household bills ,gas ,water eg My ex went to the Police and reported me for molesting my daughter age 4 after something that was said by the child and then taken out of context by my ex .The police then interviewed me and no further action was taken ,an social service report was compiled and normal contact resumed after many months not seeing my children
I then requested an contact order to have it set in stone ,weekend ,contact ,holidays eg ,we went to court in May only to be told that she was not happy with the police and social service report and the case was remanded till Aug for the police and social service new assessments .
Social service compiled an impartial report taking into account third party evidence ,interviewing my ex with the children and her friends and taking into account an statement of events documented by my ex over our 11 years of marriage that's was not true ,I was only interviewed twice by social services alone ,at no point was I seen interacting with my children or my friends spoken to .
The Social service report carried so much wight at court and was so damaging that I now have to wait another two months while they conduct one on one sessions with the children ,before any contact with me can be considered .
I have fully complied to the police and help them were i could
I underwent an lie detection test and passed
My live and my children happiness is now left to the domain of the Social services .
How do I change my Ex behavior and stop these damaging allegations and think of the children first .
Why is it so easy for someone to make-up allegations without considering the effects on others lives , I am now label and stuck with these false ridiculous allegations for live
Hi and welcome
That sounds like a pretty bad situation to be in but it does sound like the reports are in your favour - hopefully the social services are simply being thorough, and the courts are wise to parents making false accusations.
As for changing your ex's behaviour, I'm afraid you can't realistically do this, but what you can do is manage how you react to this.
Stick with it, I know this is abusive and sad that such allegations (often unfounded) are used to try to divert or even delay matters and you are treated like a second class citizen. Ultimately in the fullness of time she will perhaps reap what she sew in the first place. Keep a record of how you are feeling and key events for one day when someone reads it and knows the truth (Particyularly a member of your family who will make their own mind up) knowing what you have suffered, plus keep talking about it. don’t keep it in – .
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
