Increasingly, my wife is telling me i have developed a negative relationship with my 3 year old daughter. This is mortifying to me but is something i do not think is entriely justified.
She behaves less well for me than my wife and i struggle with her behaviour sometimes- especially leading up to bed time. I have shouted at her on occaisions. I also get frustrated with behaviour as i feel that she plays me against my wife (who thinks i am being paranoid).
I believe we have a good relationship over all however. I take her and my 1 year old boys for days out on my own to give my wife a rest and we always have a good time. We tell each other we love each other, she confides in me, we dance and laugh together.
What are the signs of a negative relationship? Do i really have one?
Hello mrosier1,
May I ask what your wife means when she says you have developed "a negative relationship" with your daughter?
What is she interpreting as being negative?
Children will very often take more notice of one parent than another.
They are also very astute at playing parents off against each other too. This is why it is important that both parents have the same guidelines so that the child gets the same answer to a question from both parents. An example:- child asks "can I play with my toy before I go to bed?" One parent says "yes" the other says "no." The child receives two different answers and then begins to play one parent off against the other.
Have to agree with MOF this is classic the child playing parents off each other, my 3 year old screams all week "I want my daddy" then all weekend she shouts "i want my mummy" lol
I suspect you may be feeling under pressure when your daughter kicks off in front of her and dont want to look stupid and the lesser parent in front of your wife, It goes in stages for me sometimes I feel like all I do is tell little one off but that has seemed to have past since me and mum created a united front on how we deal with our daughters kick offs.
all the best
slim
I think this is more about your wife's feelings than your relationship with your daughter. I think it's worth having some quiet time with your wife and chatting about it - when did you two last go out together on a date night? That could be a good idea, but lay some ground rules so it doesn't turn sour if you disagree on things.