My son is 9 years old. We like to hang out with a couple of families that also have kids a little younger than him (girls 6 and 7). He and them are friends. One of the girls doesn't have a father anymore, so for some reason she likes to pretend like I'm her father and often gets close to me and hugs me. Obviously this would make my son jealous, but it's not something I can really control.
We tried explaining things to him over and over... that he's my son, and he's the only one we love, and that the younger kid is just pretending. We tried rewards and punishments, but it doesn't seem to matter. At the spur of the moment, if the other kid runs up to me to hold my hand.. it's over, he starts a fight with her, and gets mad at me for the whole day, and makes things awkward for all the parents.
How can I help him overcome his jealousy so that he stops acting this way?
I'm not sure what to suggest here - certainly I think it needs to be reward based rather than punishment, but at the moment, I'm at a loss as to what that would look like.
teach him it's good to help people less fortunate and he's lucky he's got a dad and this little girl hasn't and misses him so much.
At nine surely he should have that understanding?
Hi There,
I agree, try and involve him in what you are doing, start to introduce that maybe he pretends to be a big brother, and that as a big brother he needs to help her, you could try and talk with him before the next time you all meet up, and then if she runs to you and holds your hand, either try and get the 2 of them to hold hands or have one each side, allowing your son to be on which ever side he prefers.
If she comes for a hug, then turn it into a group hug.
GTTS
I think that’s good advice GTTS...it’s about inclusion and helping your son to feel more confident about his unique place in your life.
Rather than leave it until the next time you meet up, start trying to show him how we all need to look out for one another and the importance of sharing.
Best of luck