Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Funny one i also heard today was we are "human-beings" NOT "human-doings"....
Yet how many of us grew up with fathers that were most interested in what we DID - the grades we got at school, or the achievements on the sports field, etc etc...... i did.
Do our kids know we love them unconditional just for being them - or do we only affirm and celebrate achievements....
I found it really challenging and came home to affirm that I love them just for being them!
Is that actually a definition of unconditional love?
Ron
I haven't heard this one for ages... It fits me well.
For me it links into your other post about TIME.
Tis a funny old subject.
For what it is worth, I learned a very valuable lesson about child rearing and self esteem from a comic - it might have even been the Beano!
It is there went a conversation between a teenager and his Father. The Father was berating his son and he reeled off a long list of things the lad had done wrong. The lad turned to his Dad and asked, "What was the last thing I did RIGHT?" The father was stumped...
My own Dad simply didn't say a lot about that which I achieved, well to me anyway. I have however heard that he has proudly mentioned my achievments to others. I'm 54 so I guess one might expect that sort of thing from people of his generation.
Although I'd, still, give me right arm to hear him say he's proud of me I have learned to live with the fact that he took the time to tell others.
What both of these experiences have done however is make me a) much more aware of the need to give praise where it is due and to remember that. When telling my kids off I try really hard to offset it by saying look at how well you did at so and so and how proud you made both me and yourself feel. That WORKS.
Being divorced (spit...) my kids ring me before they their mum with whom they live so I do feel that is evidence that children respond to the right kind or reinforcement and praise even though I also tell them off more than their mum.
Give it a go and YOU will feel better too.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
