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I'm paying quite a bit each month for my son (in the £hundreds) yet I'm concerned that my ex partner isn't dedicating this money to him. I'm having him for a week over half term and looking to go away for a few days. I was told by my ex that my son only had 4 T shirts and 1 pair of shoes, so I'd have to wash his clothes through the week. I asked why, after all the money I pay for him, she is struggling to cloth him properly. She responded by telling me that she is no longer working and that the rent/bills/her debts needed paying. Don't get me wrong, the last thing I want to see is them out on the street, but is that really what my money should be used for? Since we split up I believe I'm not financially responsible for her, just my son. I know these two things must overlap, but I don't want to fund her blackberry, poor money management and numerous take aways throughout the week.
Do I have any say in what my CSA payments must be used for? Should I be clothing my son as well as paying a big chunk of my wages to the CSA. I feel so guilty that his wardrobe is half empty. I'd give every spare penny to my son, just not to her. I don't want my son to miss out, but I also don't want my ex to think I can just chuck money in all the time (had enough of this when we were together!!).
Anyone had any similar experiences??
John
Hi John,
It's tough to see that the money you give goes on odds and ends that don't give your son any better life, clothes or food, nut unfortunately there is no way to enforce how the money is spent.
My view is that although my son may not have all the clothes in the world or lots of nice things the money I give is contribruting to his life style and to remain in the house he grew up in.
It's not great but its how it is.
Darren
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