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I separated from my partner four years ago and until recently I have had regular access to my six year old daughter, to whom I am very close. However, only very recently, my employment situation has changed and I am currently out of work with no income, resulting in my not being able to pay maintenance, which I have never refused to do when I was working. In view of this my ex is now refusing to allow me to see my daughter which I know is causing her a great deal of distress. What grounds does my ex have to deny access in these circumstances?
She has no grounds Dan! Contact and maintenance are completely separate issues....if a family court were involved and it became apparent that she was denying access over money then they would take a very dim view of it!
I suggest you act quickly here and go for mediation, as you are unemployed at present you will be entitled to legal aid for this.
Here's a link to the mediation service www.nfm.org.uk
if this isn't successful you can then apply to the court for a contact order using form C100, again as you are unemployed you will be entitled to an exemption of the court fee of £200, you,would need form EX160a to claim this.
Contact the mediation service and set up an appointment for yourself, after talking to you they will invite the mother to attend, if she refuses the mediator will give you an FM1 form for the court to prove that mediation has been attempted.
Good luck.
Hi There,
NJ is right (as she usually is 😉 )
Contact and maintenance payments should never be taken into account with each other, the 2 are very different issues.
The courts are quite straight on this matter.
You can pay and not see your child (through choice or through non contact through court order) or you can not pay and still have the same equal right to see your child.
Mediation is the best way forward.
GTTS
Hi Dan101.
Thank you for your post. I am William the Child Maintenance Options.
I can see that Nannyjane and got –the-t-shirt have already made you aware that child maintenance and contact are not linked in law. So, difficulties over one should not disrupt arrangements for the other.
It is widely recognised that when both parents take an active role in a child's life it can have a positive impact on the wellbeing of that child. But it is important not to use access to the child as a bargaining tool for negotiating child maintenance.
As it has been suggested, mediation may help you and your daughter's mother to come to an agreement over contact. Gov.uk (which is a Government website) has a service which may help you to find a mediator in your area. You can find this at: http://find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk/
If your child maintenance arrangement was simply an agreement between you and your daughter's mother, this is what we call a family-based arrangement. This type of agreement is not legally binding but it is flexible and can be changed as circumstances change. A family-based arrangement also does not just have to be about money. It could be you providing child care or paying for activities, for example.
To help you to continue with a family-based arrangement that you are both happy with, we have got several guides that you may find useful. We have a Child maintenance decisions: Information for parents living apart from their child guide, which gives details of the options available to you and offers information to help you with the negotiation process. We also have a Child maintenance decisions: A guide to talking about money, this provides information around discussing finances and agreeing child maintenance. You can download these from our website at: http://www.cmoptions.org.
If you would like an idea of how much child maintenance the Government's statutory service could work out, you can use the online calculator that is on our website. You could use this figure as a starting point to renegotiate your family based-arrangement.
Additionally, we have a family-based arrangement form that is not a legally enforceable document but may put your agreement on a more formal basis. You can complete this together and sign your names to show your commitment to your arrangement. If you feel that any of these will help you, they are also available to download from our website. We also have a discussion guide on our website that you may find useful.
We also have a sorting out separation web-app that you may find useful, it offers help and support to separated families. The link is: http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation
If you would like to find out more about how Child Maintenance Options can help you visit cmoptions.org or call us free on 0800 988 0988 between 8am and 8pm Monday to Friday or 9am and 4pm on Saturday
This makes me angry how some women see men as a walking cash machine "your not seeing your child, unless you hand over cash"
They are separate issues, men still should pay whether they see the children or not but to have access denied by the parent is not on
Apply to the court for a contact order
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
