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Hi, I'm new to this so would appreciate some much needed help.
I have just split up from my girlfriend, we have two children together. No mortgage but shared goods. I have moved out and left her in the house. We did agree a value for our shared goods and the plan was for me not to pay maintenance until the value of those goods were paid off. I also lent her £365.
She has now decided to play hardball and is contacting the CSA for maintenance. She has also now said that I can forget about the money and agreement.
Does anyone know whether I can tell the CSA that I will not pay until the debt has been paid off? How can I enforce the money that is owed?
Hi
I'm afraid that the CSA will not take any account of the money you have lent her or the shared goods, and if they have been contacted, maintenance (at 20% of your takehome pay) will have started accruing from when they were asked to take the case, so work out what that is likely to be and put it to one side so you don't get a shock of massive arrears (the CSA can be a bit slow).
The only ways I can suggest getting back what is yours is to either go to mediation and agree it (which is advisable anyway if you can't sort out contact) or to go through the small claims court, but if she says that you agreed to give her everything towards maintaining a home for the children, unless you have that agreement in writing, it's your word against hers and I wouldn't hold out a lot of hope in succeeding in court.
I'd agree with actd,look towards mediation to see what you can resolve. ,
With regards to your shared property I would consider what impact leaving your things would have, along with what impact taking them would have on your child/children. I know I personally lost a lot of my own belongings when I left and things I had paid for, but byfighting and taking them back I would have left my son without a tv or washing machine to name just a few, it meant I had to go without and buy new but at least I knew he had the benefits of them.
I don't know what items you have shared in the home so it my not be the same for you.
Darren
To add to Darren's point - I know it's annoying that she may have these things, but it may be a lot of aggravation to try to get anything back, it may be better for your peace-of-mind to let that go and fight the battles that are really important, namely the relationship you have with your children.
If some shared goods and a few hunderd pounds is all you have lost then you have come out of it fairly well. it could be so much worse.
If you are managing to have consistent regular access to the kids then i would just cut the losses and do it the CSA way. Youcan hold your head up high and say you left everything for the kids and pay your way.
I would not battle over anything of limited value for the sake of it if you feel it may antagonise and cause dificulties in seeing the kids. If she is already making that difficult then its a little different, but i would not personally chase material things if it meant making it harder to see the kids.
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